Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Feeling the Closeness

by GYE Member (See all authors)

Feeling the Closeness

I started when I was around twelve years old - I was having a lot of issues in school. This went on for two or three years after I got married. I knew I needed to change, so I started reading articles on GYE and gave a lot of money to them and it helped, but I wasn't completely free. I kept on falling. I knew that in order for me to be able to break free, I would need to take my recovery to a higher level. I tried putting filters on all my devices to stop watching movies, but I still had the lust issue. So I started implementing things to really help me. I would cry to Hashem for hours a day because I knew that He is the only One who could help me. I completely stopped watching any shows or movies, even clips. I would ‘guard my eyes’ and wouldn't look at any woman, even if she was Jewish and Frum. After weeks of implementing the above, I felt like a new person - I didn't let the lust get to me. I also started learning, forcing myself to learn for an hour straight or sometimes hours straight (using your mind for Torah cleans it out from all the dirt you have there, say the Seforim). I must say, it's now 4+ years and I wish every Yid would feel like I feel when I pray or learn. Take note: it only gets worse the older you get. I have seen people over 60 addicted to this.

Now, I could sometimes just start crying from happiness and closeness to Hashem. It's the greatest pleasure a person could feel. I feel like a free man and a real Jew. I no longer have to hide anything. All Jews that are addicted should see the truth and become completely free of this.