Coming Clean

by Yuro Jew (See all authors)

I am very happily married with B"H a house full of children. I have been suffering from a lust addiction for decades, since I was a teenager. I have had my ups and downs. I even looked into joining a 12-Step SA group, but my Yetzer Hara got the better of me convincing myself with various arguments that it wasn't for someone in my life situation. About a year ago, I finally came clean to an old Rebbi of mine who I knew would understand what I was going through. Just coming out and speaking to someone who understood me was a tremendous relief. B"H as a result, I don't think that I have had a major fall since then. But then of course, you know what happens. I joined Facebook for some "work" related project, and lo and behold, who do you think all of my "friends" were? Still, I think that my earlier meeting or my more cognizant awareness that Hashem was watching kept me from the severe falls of the past. Then things weren't working out as planned and I felt the urge to fall overcome me again. I thought I should pick up the phone and speak with my Rebbe, but I was lazy. Then a couple of weeks ago, I stumbled across an outdated link to a post from what looks like the guardyoureyes forum with suggested online shuirim to help with the struggle. I listened to Rabbi Reisman's shuir from Yirmiyahu. It was very encouraging. I went back telling myself that whoever posted this was on to something. It was then that I came across the real guardyoureyes website, which for years is something that I have been searching for. It is truly a lifesaver. Words cannot describe my gratitude to Hashem and to all you guys for the work you are doing. Reading the handbook felt as if a ton of bricks was lifted from me. I felt like the handbook was written all for me. It's like someone was there in my brain and knew exactly what I was going through. I knew that B"H my life was in for a major change. I am almost done my first read through of the book. I joined all of the daily Chizuk emails. Reading them for a couple of days now, I know that this is the place for me. Today I joined the 90 days wall and the forum.

Boruch Shechyanu V'Kiyamonu L'zman HaZeh