I have been an addict forever. It started when I was 14 and now I'm 44, so it's been 30 years.
About 10 years ago, I joined Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) and worked with different sponsors unsuccessfully. I just couldn't maintain sobriety. The SA definition of sobriety is "no sex with self or anyone other than one's spouse and progressive victory over lust." According to my sponsor, lusting is not gaining victory over lust so it's considered loss of sobriety. This caused me to continually have to start over.
Then I went thru a תקופה of major anxiety and was directed to start dropping some of the projects out of my life to make it more manageable. SA was one of them. But getting out of the program caused a huge decline, during which I crossed many red lines. It became clear I needed another עצה.
That's when I found Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA). They allow you to do certain behaviors while avoiding others. This was the breakthrough. I, for once, could be sober while still lusting. I wasn't a constant רשע anymore. I continued building on my avoidance list until, finally, I was ready to adopt GYE's standards of sobriety. By then, staying sober was a breeze and now, it's not a struggle at all. I'm loving every minute of it! It just might be the עצה for some people. Keep it in mind.
Thanks for all you do. Keep it up and תזכו למצות!
Nathan