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GYE Corp. Sunday, 15 January 2012

B"H I hugged my wife before leaving today.. And Literally every single night of their lives (except for when they are away with a relative), I go and gently stroke my children's heads as they are sleeping, and rub their back as they dream. One of them used to really let out a big 'sigh of relief' whenever I did it. He was about 5 At the time. Recovery has blessed me with a sensitivity to 'be present' emotionally for them (except for the really stressful days when I tell them "Today Tatty needs a time-out and I need to think about Hashem for a little"; (of course my daughter still feels completely justified for climbing on me even in these times too... and I have no problem with it).. I've learned to 'davka' look at them when I'm in a good mood and take pleasure in whatever they're doing (to a point obviously :-) so in their hearts and minds they internalize deeeeeeep inside of them that "Tatty is someone who is really happy with me: he enjoys me... the world enjoys... 'Me'." BH this approach is so far showing many many fruits.

Every day it's permissible, I make a point to give my wife at least one hug a day. I was never aware of just how much she needs my complete affection. Soon in the middle of my stress, when I hugged her, her complete calm became so soothing for me (because I have zero others I am hugging). It began to settle me as we have a 'clear moment' amongst all the noise and stress, we look into each other's eyes for a good moment of connection. My goal is a happy family with Hashem and yiddishkeit. We connect (and fight sometimes :-)) and build a life as we are bound to each other. I just walked in the door and immediately sat down next to her so we can connect. I am part of her life.. I love her... the children are growing/succeeding (and B"H right now sleeping). This is serenity... B"H.