Serenity With Hashem is the Key
Levi, a Talmid of Duvid Chaim's phone conference writes:
I had a test this morning. I was hungry, cranky and in a bit of irritability. I had a plan to go into my office, make two important phone calls that would be critical (or so I thought) regarding about $1000 of disputed bills that a company claimed I owed.
I suddenly got called into a staff meeting that was not on my calendar and it threw me into a state of tension and irritability because it wasn't my plan for the morning. I made a mental note that I was entering a danger zone in my mood and continued on to the meeting.
As if on queue, I was struck by a lust though attack revolving around a very female attractive co-worker. BUT, what made this time different was that I detected the clear connection between my internal anger/discontent and my lust urge. I decided to work on uprooting the negative attitude towards the meeting (by quietly focusing on the fact that it was G-d's will I be there now, and all was all right) and I found myself getting calmer. I also made efforts not to glance in the wrong direction to avoid further triggers. As the meeting ended I was in a calmer state and the lust urges were diminished.
As I got back to my office, I made those phone calls that I had been so uptight about to find to my surprise that the entire charges against me were forgiven and everything was fine. The entire tension had been based in an unnecessary ego binge.
What a blessing to finally have a tool to detect early warnings of a lust urge (like a tzunami detector) by being aware of our perceptions and motivations. I never thought it was possible, but serenity with HaShem is the key.
Duvid Chaim Responds:
Levi's observations are so profound and accurate; like an arrow hitting the bull's-eye! In fact, my friends, it really is all about awareness, about "checking in" with yourself, about "monitoring" how you're feeling, what's going on around you and how you are "re-acting" to all this "stuff." Most men just simply ignore all this information and chalk it up to "just another crappy day."
And what happens next? With this Restlessness, Irritability and Discontent, we go to our medicine cabinet and we pull out our "drug of Choice." Doctors and Therapists will tell you right away how "soothing" it is to act-out. Just like shooting up with heroin, we feel the rush of relaxation, our eyes roll back and we are instantly transported away to another place. To a "place" that we say, "thank G-d, I'm in this moment and don't have to face my life."
It's no wonder we get addicted to P-rn and Mast---. Let's face it, in the Categories of Drugs, it's pretty darn good.
- It's free!
- I'm not going to die from an overdose!
- It's private!
- It really, really works!
- And for a few brief moments in time, I'm in total control of my life - A LIFE that is usually in total control of ME!
As Levi witnessed, we can make the DECISION that we're going to alter our attitude towards people around us.
When we make the DECISION to alter our typical routine and the expectations we have...
When we make the DECISION to say to ourselves that SEX is OPTIONAL... then we've turned the corner to RECOVERY.
Maybe, you still feel that you have a long way to go. But you know what? I think that same thought everyday. But the truth is, I can't do anything about the past. And I sure can't do anything about the future. So for me, and any addict, the only time I can do anything about is RIGHT NOW.