Pre-Empting the Yetzer Hara
I just had an internet slip. I was looking up something totally safe - on a site which was supposed to be perfectly safe, and I came across some really weird indecent drawings. It was so weird that I had trouble overcoming the curiosity. BUT, I did leave the page fairly quickly--without scrolling for more drawings. The thought entered my mind, "Hey, imagine what you'll find if you do a full web search," which I quickly rejected.
I wanted to post, because the accountability for these things helped me to overcome it in the past.
This is so precious... It is small things like this that distinguish the successes from the failures. This may sound small, but we all know that turning away after getting a "taste", especially when caught off guard, takes some real messiras nefesh. Eye, you are shaking the upper worlds!
The next day he wrote:
So my slip yesterday on the internet was on a site that I previously thought was harmless, and I use it all the time for actual work purposes (not even pseudo-work).
I didn't think to do anything about it at first, because this was such a weird slip. But I can feel the yeitzer tugging at me to slip again. I realize it's negligent not to take action.
So my wife and I just modified the K9 settings--and now it's ENTIRELY BLOCKED. If I ever need this site I'm going to have to bug my wife to sit here with me while I use it.
WOW. This is the attitude of success in this battle. Whenever we find a loop-hole or feel the Yetzer hara bringing us a new idea, we need to pre-empt him and put up new safe-guards!! Kol Hakavod!