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Pleasure and Serenity

GYE Corp. Monday, 30 January 2012

I was walking around a few minutes ago on a large street. I got myself something to eat, and I did a little shopping. As is always the case, there were many women walking around. My instinct, of course, told me to give the "initial peek" (which is really just used to determine if "staring" is warranted, right? :-). Surprisingly, I just didn't do it.

Whereas in the past, when the same thing happened, I'd give myself a pat on the back and my ego would go up a notch, this time I just felt a tremendous feeling of joy and connection to God, and an endless amount of gratitude to Him for simply taking the battle away. I'm no Tzaddik, but I sure feel a lot closer to God now than I ever have in the past. And the pleasure and serenity I gained from that feeling of "connectedness" was 1000x greater than what I have ever felt from patting myself on the back and telling myself what a Tzaddik I am (not to mention how much more effective it is, in helping me avoid it all for the long term). I can only hope it will continue this way...