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Missed the Minyan (But not the Boat!)

GYE Corp. Thursday, 15 December 2011

HonestMouse wrote:

My boss called a meeting during lunchtime and I missed Mincha, which would mean I would have to daven without a minyan.

I was sulking and frustrated, mamash like a 2 year old, and I started lusting with passers by on the street. I felt very tempted to go into an internet cafe...

Then I remembered my Taphsic kabalah, and that was enough to snap me back to my senses. Now I could think about why I was so frustrated. It's RIDICULOUSLY inconsistent to be upset about missing a minyan and therefore feel the need to compensate by acting out!

I realized I was upset because I missed davening with a minyan, and that's what I'm used to and it makes me feel good. Hashem obviously planned for me to miss the minyan, it was out of my control. Perhaps this whole episode was for to me to realize that something is amiss in my motivation for wanting to daven with a minyan, otherwise it would be much easier to accept when Hashem doesn't want me to.

B"H, I went to the shul I usually go to, davened b'yechidus, learned for a few minutes, and headed back still sober, but more importantly, I was more aware of the lack in my closeness to my Maker.


Kedusha Responds with a parable:

Your success in not acting-out due to a relatively minor frustration can be described by a Mashal: Fred loses five dollars, and that stresses him out. Out of frustration, he starts flushing money down the toilet, until he needs to call a plumber. When the plumber tells him that the bill is $50, he assaults the plumber out of frustration. When the police arrive, he aims his rifle out the window and opens fire. Somehow, he gets released on bail pending his trial for attempted murder. But, facing the prospect of conviction, he hires someone to kill the prosecutor.

I could go on and on. But, I've learned from experience that most of life's stressors are, relatively speaking, like losing five dollars, whereas 'falling' is comparable to the rest of my story.