Member 'Singularity' Reaches 90 Days Clean
I'm so excited for having reached this point and experiencing the cleanest, most honest and most growing 3 months in my entire life, or whatever I called "life" before now. Death, perhaps.
What helped me? The forum. The dedicated, constant posters, moderators and Dov, for always-open communication channels regardless of location and profession. The forum friends didn't preach chiddushim to me, but rather made me realize that which I already knew, and motivated me to take steps I was too scared to before.
I am now BH in a good recovery fellowship with SAA here in SA (South Africa) and have so many more connections and people to open up with, that my "safety net" has never been as strong. I am learning every day how to surrender my lust and my ego and am slowly feeling the thrill of actually dealing with life's stresses as opposed to hiding and using my (least) favourite drug!
To my absolute delight, I realised my overeating was NOT an addiction and did NOT compel me to join OA as well. Within these three months, after having hit a "rock bottom" overeating during Sukkos, I have eaten better, exercised and become a more fulfilled human being. I feel my success in that area is because of pearls of wisdom and mindsets gleaned from GYE and SAA. I finish long runs One Step at a Time! I ask God to help me up that tiring hill. And then sneak-in asking Him for a clean day, to remove my lust, and to help me serve Him.
I believe it's important to have a mitzvas Asei (exercise, learning, something positive) in tandem with the lo ta'aseh of refraining from lustful behaviours. I've tried the latter alone in the past, especially when focusing on it meant neglecting other areas, ie overeating and not exercising, and it has not been good for me. I grow better holistically.
In the incident with the Moabite women in the Torah, Pinchas stepped to the plate. And made a bold step. A zealous step. And he saved a dead situation.
This was the last test before entry into Eretz Yisroel. If Ma'aseh Avos Siman l'Banim, then what we face in our generation is the final frontier. It's unsalvagable unless we make bold steps. And GYE has done that. You are saving the entire world and pushing us all through to the Geulah, bim'Heira b'Yameinu!
I thank Hashem for your organisation and the true stepping stones to sanity! Keep up the holy work!