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Mazal Tov Miri on Reaching 90 Days!

GYE Corp. Friday, 23 March 2012
Part 1/2 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

I want to share what Miri posted on the forum. Not only is it a great story and testimonial, but there is so much we can all learn from her:

WOW!!! I really appreciate everyone's congratulations on my reaching 90 clean days. It has been some journey. I started on this forum a little over 5 months ago and I have been working on abstinence ever since. I must say that firstly, this forum and this website were already a huge stepping stone for me. The inspiration that I was reading on the website, and knowing that I am not alone in this struggle has made a huge difference. I have found out that so many others like me want to be free of this Yetzer Harah, and they were successfully staying clean. I was able to share here and get guidance. I am forever grateful.

Reaching 90 days for me is just another step forward. I am climbing a never ending ladder, because I know that I am an addict. My disease is "working out" in the background, and I know that I need to be very aware of this. I cannot let my guard down and say that now that I have been abstinent for so long, I must be "cured"... I am not, I am just in remission.

It says in the Big Book that our disease is "cunning, baffling and powerful" and without help, it is too much for us.... Which one can help us? "that one is G-d, may you find him now!" I love this part, because it talks to me every time I read it. It reminds me that I need to daven for my abstinence every single day, whether I feel like I need to or not. It reminds me that the reason Hashem has lifted my addictions from me for today, is because I am doing my part. I used to want Hashem to just lift these obsessions from me without me doing anything for it. Now I know that Hashem will lift it from me if I work for it, and that work is:

  • the 12 steps,
  • my daily contact with my sponsor and my sponsees,
  • the meetings that I attend,
  • the service that I do at meetings,
  • phone calls that I make
  • and other tools that have been recommended to me by my sponsor.

It is time consuming, and sometimes I wish I did not have to do it all, but the alternative is being a zombie; being a slave to my addictions! I was truly not alive when I was in my addictions, and now I am! So in reality, I am saving myself plenty of time because of my abstinence. I am actually "there" for those who need me.

I also feel, that as long as I was drowning myself with my substance of choice (be it "food" or "lust"), my eyes were clouded. They could not see the blessings being showered on me on a daily basis. But it is different now. I can see blessings so much more. I can see Hashem's hand in my life all the time. And I know it is because I am no longer fogged up with my addictions.

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