Jumping Back on the Horse
As soon as you get a bit too cocky and think "Hey, I'm doing it!", Hashem gives you a fatherly pat on the back with a serious nisayon and says, "Chill". That's what happened to me today... I was doing great with the few errands I had to run, in a semi crowded Israeli mall, keeping my head down and looking away immediately upon inappropriateness... I was thinking, "Yetzer Hara, bow down to your king." Then, for reasons I cannot elaborate on, I was forced to go to the airport and surprise an arriving friend. Surprising at the airport means waiting at the arrival hall and watching every single person that comes out of customs. I was doing well for a while... keeping my eyes in check. But after 45 minutes of this... my eyes became a bit "loose". I looked twice at a few women. Very upsetting. I basically ate treif a few times while I was casually waiting at the airport! But sometimes, says R' Tzadok, Hashem gives a person a nisayon that he cannot handle just to see how he recovers. Does he get depressed when he falls, staying on the ground and thinking "this is impossible"? Or does he jump right back onto the horse? Baruch Hashem, He has given me the strength to continue with this struggle right where I left off.