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Close Physically; Far Mentally

GYE Corp. Tuesday, 27 December 2011

I have B"H over 6 years clean in SA, and I am grateful for such a venue to share these victories in the name of Hashem with others. Somehow I've been doing great even without meetings, but I make phone calls everyday to share and connect. Your chizuk e-mails help even further, as I am now working very closely with young attractive ladies. I use all tools I've used up till now, and I am never 'content' or 'healed'... Seeing each day as a new chance in Avodas Hashem, along with friends, is the best gift one could have.

B"H I'm sober and happily married with happy children. I make calls to friends in recovery very often about any and all anxiety I have about ANYTHING, not even lust related. I have ZERO shame asking for help from others! The VERY FIRST AND NUMBER ONE PRIORITY is coming home with a warm heart for the family. Our kids don't care about our money, they need our smiles much much more!

The Rambam and Shulchan Aruch write: "Distance yourself very far from a woman". But this applies to mentally; emotionally or spiritually. What I mean is, that even if a girl is only two feet away (like for me at work), I keep her "far away from myself" in my mind. I keep low volume relaxing piano niggunim with no words in my ear. Even when I'm on the phone with a customer, the relaxing chassidic music is playing. I have NO SHAYCHUS WHATSOEVER to her, nor with ANY of her conversations with ANYONE. I'm not a 'social butterfly'... HASHEM is my buddy (and I call friends who think like me when I need to, B"H).

Even on my down days (less spiritual), it's known at work that I'm focused on work and talking to other men SPECIFICALLY (about productive things of course). So even when my Yetzer Hara tries to finally get me involved to talk to her, she has no desire to because I already have a reputation of being AWAY from the girls... (even though I'm literally 2 or 3 feet away from them, physically).

At least 50 times a day, probably more, I have the opportunity to 'choose life'. I intentionally divert my eyes from seeing the triggering women in the office. They are 'right there'; other people are talking to them and joking with them. Ok, so what? My life has no reason to be a part of that scene. B"H a good amount of friends and co-workers are also near me; and they are men. We talk of topics of content.

I even admonished one man once when here: At work, he mentioned immoral topics of lust loudly. Other people appreciated my reaction. I apologized to him later and he admitted he was wrong.....

G-d is on our side, with endless love.