A Slip is Just a Slip
I am almost up to 40 days without a fall, and my wife is assur now, which makes things a little harder. Last night, I was reading business news and they had something about some woman etc. I googled who she was and a movie where she is the main actor came up. Not thinking properly, I downloaded it and it was a movie with some real pritzus in it. B”H, nothing happened (in the mz”l realm) but it has affected my Shmiras Einayim. (I listen every day on the way to work to the recording from GYE on the Shmiras Einayim group, the speaker is great).
I went to the Mikvah to gain a bit of Kedushah and davened for the best. I didn’t let down my guard of Shmiras Einayim that has been going great for the past 40 days. But at work, I now realize that I’m slipping and looking for the wrong material.
So here I’m writing to you, first and foremost to get it out! Secondly, I just now read the chizuk email from the Kaliver Rebbi, it’s great and gave me the strength to delete a video I wanted to watch that was "on the edge".
I’ve got a little too much free time right now on my hands, so I’m going to read some business related stuff, and if I’m in the crush for videos then it's only from the list of the Kosher Isle!