Chapter 24- Ambition and Avoiding Arrogance
Note: Many ideas in this chapter come from Rabbi Shafier’s Shmuz 59: “Humility: An Issue of Perspective” (www.TheShmuz.com).
I’m sure by now you’ve been wondering about arrogance. Doesn’t wanting to be great constitute arrogance? And won’t being proud after we win a battle make us arrogant?
To avoid arrogance while staying excited to win, we must understand the challenge arrogance presents. Imagine there is an arrogant person. Realizing that arrogance is improper and wanting to rid himself of it, he reads many mussar works about how terrible it is, and he increases his desire to be free of it. But ultimately, he still feels that he is greater than everyone else. He doesn’t want to be arrogant, but what can he do?
If we want to eliminate arrogance, contemplation about how bad it is and motivation to change won’t be enough. The only way to cure ourselves of arrogance is to change our perspective on what matters. We must figure out what has true significance. Once we master this perspective, we will know how to avoid arrogance.
There are many factors that can bring a person to arrogance. The first category of these is feeling superior to others because of physical advantages. For example, a person might feel superior because he is smarter, richer, more handsome, or more athletic. Any physical advantage or possession can cause a person to feel better than others. But just knowing that he has physical advantages is not arrogance. Only if these talents and possessions make him feel superior as a person and deserving of praise does this constitute arrogance (Mesillas Yesharim, Chapter 11).
Avoiding such forms of arrogance takes contemplation. You must remember that it wasn’t you who made you smart. You didn’t create yourself with these gifts. Hashem gave them to you. It wasn’t in your control. Hashem decided that this situation is best for you in this world. It wasn’t your greatness that caused you to get it. Hashem could have created you unintelligent, and if He wants, He can make you poor or sick in an instant. Does it make sense to feel superior because Hashem gave you talents or money?
Ask any bald person whether he decided to become bald. It wasn’t his decision; it was Hashem’s. Had Hashem wanted to, He could have made you bald and there would be nothing you could do about it. Having hair is not in your control. Similarly, all your talents and possessions are not in your control. Hashem gave them to you, and having them doesn’t make you greater than anyone else. Be grateful to Hashem for these gifts, rather than becoming arrogant.
Another reason your gifts shouldn’t make you arrogant is that they don’t last. Hopefully, you will be fortunate enough to reach old age, which sure beats the alternative. When you are old, nobody will be impressed with how smart you are. All your handsomeness will fade, and no one will care how you once looked. Nobody will give two hoots about how cool you were when you were twenty. When you are in a nursing home, it won’t matter how much money you have; nobody is jealous of a person who has one foot out the door and the other on a banana peel. All the prestige and respect can’t be held onto forever, and after death, these things surely won’t matter at all.
Most important, remember that physical talents and possessions are not what’s important in life. Serving Hashem is all that matters, no matter what anyone else values and respects.