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Should a therapist be his client’s Webchaver buddy?

obormottel Friday, 04 January 2019
Should a therapist be his client’s Webchaver buddy?

A therapist sent Rabbi Twerski a question:

Dear Dr. Twerski

I hope this finds you well!

A client has asked me whether I would be prepared to be his Webchaver to help him stop watching porn.

Essentially this means that there would be a download of the History of Sites he has visited and Alerts if he visits any porn sites, sent to my nominated email.

My concern is that this would put me in a different role with him, which he may come to view as punitive or restrictive.

He told me, the fact of the matter is that if he has someone he respects as a Webchaver (e.g. yours truly) than he is virtually certain he will not go on those sort of sites for two reasons: 1) out of shame that I would see & 2) [more importantly] out of respect for himself.

What are your thoughts in this regard, please?

Much love & a virtual-hug from afar


Rabbi Twerski replied that he didn’t know and asked permission to forward the question to GYE for our opinion. Yaakov replied:

I would suggest the following:

Let them try it for a short while. If there are no infractions, they should continue. If there are more than 2 infractions and the therapist begins to feel that this compromises his position with the client, then they should try KBA instead.

KBA is a "Knas Based Accountability" system that we developed, where non-Jews check over the reports and if there are bad reports, the person's credit card is charged a "Knas" of a minimum $100. This option works well for many people who either can't find a partner, or are simply too embarrassed to use a partner. To sign up for KBA, see here: