My Brother's Friends
"It's hard because I sit in the office all day in front of the computer".
"It's hard because my wife is assur to me now"
"It's hard because the women out there dress like that!"
"It's hard because I am sometimes so lonely... tired... hungry... anxious.... I feel so vulnerable...."
"It's hard because triggers are just everywhere!"
The excuses are endless... But at the end of the day, we need to realize that it has nothing to do with what's OUT THERE. It's all about what's IN US.
The lust is in our minds. It's not his or her fault nor the world's fault. It is WE who are feeling a need to self-medicate or escape into a world of fantasy. It is we who need to change our perceptions. How? We do that through connection to healthy, safe people who can relate to our struggle. We do it through integrity, humility and praying to Hashem to save us from the bondage of "self."
As we slowly learn to shift our focus outward instead of inward (me, me, me), we learn to focus on just living life and being of use to ourselves, our family and our G-d. It's what we're here for in this world. It's all a process of "growing up", maturing and developing our souls to shine!