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Discussion with 14 Year Old Boy

How can I speak to my father about this?

the.guard Tuesday, 07 March 2017

A 14 year old boy wrote:

So I started doing the TaPHSiC Method, and I ended up falling, so now I have to tell someone about the problem. I'm thinking either my dad or my Rav. What I wanted to know is how to do it. I'm sure they'd both be understanding, but I'm still not sure what to say. As you can guess, it'd be very awkward and embarrassing, and I'm feeling anxiety about it right now. My dad and Rav always thought of me as a Jew who learns and Davens a lot, and I feel that this would put a strain on that. I'm 14, by the way. What should I say?

GYE answered:

Tell him a little about your struggle, what age it started, how it started, what you are trying to do to make progress, about and about the TaPHSiC method, and then explain him how you made the shvuah to tell someone and now you had a fall, and you feel embarrassed but you want to do the right thing.

He will be impressed that you are trying to grow and break free of this. And it will be good for you to open up to someone older and wiser than you about this. Don't worry, he will understand. We all go through this stage in life.

He replied:

Thank you! I said exactly what you said to do, and he said exactly what you said he would!

Now he's going to be my accountability partner and I don't want to disappoint him, I will also increase my filter strength, and every week we are going to review my WebChaver reports. I will Daven to Hashem and learn Torah and do more Mitzvos. I also get the daily Chizuk emails. And I am currently continuing to use the TaPhSiC Method (cold showers are NOT fun).

Thank you!