When we stumble, we must remember that we sinned out of weakness, not rebellion. We might sometimes be overpowered by strong desires, but deep down, we want to be good. We want to do what is right. It is just that these feelings sometimes get covered up by the mountains of desire we face. It is a huge challenge to overcome these desires, and if we sometimes mess up, that does not mean we are bad people; we just mistakenly did something that was not in our best interest. Even if we did it willfully, we should still consider it a mistake because we did not realize the true ramifications of what we were doing. Desire makes it hard for us to see the consequences of our actions. We were not aiming to do bad. We are doing the most important thing: we are trying! That is what Hashem wants from us.
There will be times when we make mistakes. That is normal, because we are human. Whenever we strive to accomplish something, mistakes along the way are inevitable. It is right for us to regret our mistakes and resolve not to repeat them. Sins are serious and they damage us. We should realize that certain actions are wrong and must not be committed. But we must also be sure that our sins don’t destroy us by making us feel ashamed of ourselves. Instead, we must get back up, dust ourselves off, and continue to chase our aspirations.
If we have already sinned and the challenge is still going on, we must not think that we have already blown it and it is too late. That is wrong. Each second we held ourselves back was a tremendous accomplishment, and even if we ultimately gave in, we will deal with that mistake later through teshuva. Right now we have the incredible opportunity to achieve unprecedented success by getting back up and doing what is right. This victory will be even greater than a regular victory over the yetzer hara because we will overcome an additional challenge: the urge to give up after slipping. We must focus on what we can achieve right now because that is what matters.
Most important, we must not forget that we are good and are striving to achieve. If the yetzer hara tries to make us feel that we are bad because he got us, we must stand up to his lies.
It is crucial that we respond in this way. If we don’t, we are at risk of feeling, “I am a sinner and a failure at controlling my desires. It doesn’t pay to control myself. I might as well sin and get pleasure because I am a failure anyway.” We will feel inferior and besmirched with sin. We probably won’t control ourselves, and we will be miserable.
We must realize that although we are accountable for our actions, if we have committed one or even many sins in this area, that does not make us bad. Many good people and even some great tzaddikim struggled with their desires, because it is so hard to have complete control. We must remember that we are good and that deep down, we want to do what’s right. Though we might not always feel it beneath our desires, that is the truth.
We must also remember that even one victory is a tremendous accomplishment. It is worth coming to this world for even one second of self-control! To go against our nature and succeed in this area is a legendary achievement because it is so challenging. It really does matter that we succeed. We will not be left with nothing; we will have an astounding achievement, one that everyone will be in awe of in the World to Come. This is something we don’t want to miss. Even just one act of self-control is something to be incredibly proud of, and we will take pride in it forever.