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Enlighten Our Eyes

the.guard Monday, 16 October 2017
Part 4/50 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

Davening for Help

We Yidden always have the powerful weapon of tefillah available in our arsenal. When feeling overwhelmed by the yeitzer hora, we can plead to Hashem in our own heartfelt words to save us, His beloved children, from this monstrous attacker.

Help may not arrive that very instant, but we need to keep on davening. It feels like a compelling force of demonic proportions, but Hashem can save us from undesired pleasure. Let’s remember that Hashem wants to help us more than we want to be helped. And when we contemplate the nisyonos that bombard our brethren the world over, no doubt we will have them in mind in our tefillos, too.

Avoid Temptation

Every man is obligated to, as much as possible, keep away from temptation’s doorway – mishaps are then simply less likely to occur. We need to assess the situation beforehand. What are our options? Sometimes it’s just a matter of re-charting a couple of our normal routes and usual haunts. Main streets are to be avoided in general where side streets are available.

If a person unnecessarily exposes himself to circumstances of risk, he is at fault – yes, even if he shuts his eyes. Why? Because where was his fear of sin? Why was he so unconcerned about what he could encounter? His actions imply a degree of indifference to this serious issue.

When it comes to matters of arayos, the natural condition of man finds it all so very fascinating and so sorely tempting. Chazal term it (Makkos 23b): נפשו של אדם מתאוה להם ומחמדתן – A man’s soul desires and craves these things. That is why we are required to take extra care to pre-empt any brush with alluring temptations or traps.

The Arizal tells us how immodest mingling contaminates the very air being breathed to the extent that Avraham Avinu, as he neared the degenerate land of Mitzrayim, suddenly became aware of Sarah’s exquisite beauty, saying to her, ״Behold, now I know that you are a woman of beautiful appearance.״

Rav Shalom Schwadron, ztz״l, used to tell the following story about Rav Aharon Kotler, ztz״l, and his insistence on avoiding streets that were frequented by women: ״When Rav Aharon lived in Kletzk, his home was some distance from the yeshiva; using the main streets would entail shmiras einayim risks. So he went instead by way of the back yards, though he had to vault over fences and other such inconveniences.״

״It once happened that two bochurim were at his home discussing Torah until it was almost time to be back in yeshiva. He offered to escort them along his usual quick route behind the houses. They couldn’t refuse. However, when they reached an alleyway with big, fierce, prowling dogs, they were simply too scared to proceed. Rav Aharon instructed them to take hold of the hems of his coat and walk beside him. Trembling, they obeyed, and lo and behold! Those dogs ignored the trio.״

Rav Aharon would happily negotiate tall fences and dangerous hounds rather than streets where he would come across women. Didn’t Chazal say (Brachos 61a) that a man should walk behind a lion in preference to walking behind a woman?

Being alert to pitfalls and danger zones, we can come up with alternative routes. We may decide that certain places are off-limits. If necessary, we can have a couple of polite excuses up our sleeve for tricky situations, ideas for avoiding clashes, and some handy escape routes.

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