I don't know what to tell you to help you stand up... You're down, and this addiction is taking advantage, kicking you while you're down... You're taking blows to the head, blows to your ribs... It's an old fashioned beatdown... Maybe you don't have the strength to fight back right now... I understand that... But you can at least get up... Stand up! Don't just lie there... Get on your feet and look your addiction in the eye, at least make your addiction fight like a man....
I don't pretend to have any answers.... I'm not even a month clean, and I consider myself a full blown addict... But I can tell you that I know how you suffer... Trust me when I say, I used to have it so much rougher... It hurts... But there is a solution here... I know you've studied the 12 steps and even tried working them... Perhaps it's time to go to a live meeting? Don't try to build 90 days, 30 days or even 7 days... Just work on today...
And don't test yourself... Yes, you can break your filters... Yes, there is plenty of smut available out there... all the sites are still there... No, you can't give it a peek and then stop... And no, it won't make you feel any better... Don't try answering those questions anymore, I just gave you the answers... Just live this minute, this moment...
It's time to cut the puppet strings... Time to walk out of the port-o-potty you've been living in... Time to tell the machine, "I won't do what you tell me!"