The Mask in the Mirror
The Gemorah says, "Sheva Yipol Tzaddik V'Kum." A Tzaddik falls seven times and gets up. It does not say this person is a rasha, it says a Tzaddik. Part of being human is to fall and get up, NOT give up.
Want to find out if you really have an addiction problem? Answer the questions on this page.
If you are indeed addicted then you have a disease which is causing a lack of motivation and a longing for connection. Addicts sexualize boredom, loneliness, anger, guilt, stress and resentment.
Our addiction (the Yetzer Horah) tells us that we can do Teshuva by passing by places we used to go, just to say we passed by and didn't go in again, or browsing the sites we used to browse, and watch the movies we used to watch... But this is a setup, because when you do it enough times you will go back to your old behaviors.
It's like this anonymous story in 5 chapters:
Chapter 1: I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2: I walk down the same street; there is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in this same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3: I walk down the same street; there is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see the hole, I fall in, it's a habit... but my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
Chapter 4: I walk down the same street; there is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
Chapter 5: I walk down a different street.
This is the story of recovery... setting boundaries, slipping, getting back up, working on your character traits, eliminating resentments, making amends and helping others find serenity and sobriety. Only when we let go and admit our powerlessness can we begin walking down a different street.