Take the Ball & Run with it!
My (user)name is Jack, please read my recovery story. I was addicted for 38+ years until I found this site. Do the 90 days, even one minute at a time, if you have to. Join a phone group - you will find one here that suits you. Don't attempt this by yourself. Would you attempt to climb mount Everest all by yourself? Remember that falling is part of the process. You have started on the road to recovery! Yasher koach. The first step is to admit there is a problem - many people are in denial and don't admit they're addicts. You know the guy who says he can quit anytime? yeah, sure. Well I am clean for almost a year and a half, with only a few slips spaced out over about 6 months each. But basically I'm doing fine. But - once an addict always an addict, and it never totally goes away. But we can control it - IF WE WANT TO. Take the ball and run with it!
Oh, and one more thing: Get a sponsor who you can call (almost) anytime when you are weak. I can't emphasize enough how a sponsor helped me through the toughest times, mainly the first 90 days. I spoke to my sponsor every week, and I wrote to Guard ten times a day. He put all his mesiras nefesh into me, just like he does for everybody else on this forum.
Comment from the webmaster: Due to time constraints, Guard is no longer available to answer 10 e-mails a day. Please keep your e-mail correspondence to five e-mails or less :-) ... Even better, get yourself a partner to keep you strong. See this page for more info on how to get a partner for e-mailing / chatting on-line / phone calls.