Sunday, 22 January 2012

Goodbye to Addiction

by Elya (See all authors)

You protected me from conflict
And soothed my shattered self,
You were my friend when I was lonely,
And when boredom came to rest.

You were my friend when lovers refused me,
You always pleased me,
At first I blamed you on pure curiosity,
then you got the better of me.
I couldn't get enough of you,
Now I'm getting rid of you!

Goodbye addiction, you meant so much to me,
when I escaped into my fantasy world to escape
my fears and insecurities.
Being anonymous made me feel powerful, sly and invisible,
But deep inside, you ended up making me feel miserable.

I latched on to you to pass the time,
When I started new projects or just out of town,
I longed to connect to my fantasies and dreams,
And you always obliged by creating the scenes.

Even in success you enveloped my life,
How could I be successful, it just didn't feel right.
With you at my side, I could feel powerful and in charge,
an excuse to procrastinate, to escape my wounded scars.

Now, as I think of all the time I've wasted,
All the real hopes and dreams that could and should have been,
I realize now that in a way you are a blessing in disguise,
Because in my desire to get rid of you,
I've come to appreciate my true self,
And know that Hashem is really in charge,
And all I have to do is give HIM the power to destroy you.