The Library

Ester, my dear child,

it's tough.

Life's tough.

It's how I created This World.

But so are you. Tougher than you think you are.

I know how tough it is, and I know how much you're hurting. I feel your pain. Nevertheless, I'm disappointed in you. Not for failing, no, I created human beings this way - fallible. Accept it. It's to be expected. I see your regret. I see your guilt. I see your shame. I know how real the struggle is. I know how overwhelming life feels. You're okay.

Why, then, am I disappointed? Because you're not accepting all of this. You know better. Stop letting the guilt, shame, and regret pull you down. That is something you can do! You can use this power to grow. I've given you so much potential, you can do it! I'm disappointed that you don't believe that. Because it’s not the failures or the struggle pulling you down. It’s the lack of belief.

Yes, you've made mistakes. Everyone has. And yes, you've made these "mistakes" intentionally. Again, you're not alone. Why are you so harsh on yourself? I've given you a great gift - when you use it, not only do I forgive and forget, I cherish that act of returning so so much! Right now, I want you to believe in the light and in yourself. I want you to see the potential I've given you. That's the first step. I know how difficult it is for you to reach out. But it's all part of the process, my beautiful child. All part of the road to actualizing all the good you have inside you. I know it's tough, and feels like I'm torturing you. I know. But you know how satisfying it is when you manage to do something when it’s difficult, don't you? You're so familiar with it, I'm proud of that! There is no one that loves you like I do. I know you can't feel that right now, and that's normal. I want you to know it anyway.

Why is it all so tough? Answers are up here - one day you'll know why, but now is not that time. Trust yourself, my precious child, trust that I created you with the tools to manage. Trust me, even though it doesn't feel right. Trust the people I send your way, even though it feels wrong. I want you to be happy. You're good, and I can't wait for you to see that. Then, you can grow even more, and achieve all the amazing things I have in store for you.

Believe in yourself, like I know you can. Like you know I do. Don't stop trying, don't stop wanting, and don't give up. I've got your back. I'll pick you up when you fall, I'll help you pick up the pieces. You're worth too much to me to give up. You can do it, and you will do it. Just keep on getting up, don't ever give up. I love you. I'm here. And I'm watching out for you.

Your loving Father and King, your Creator.