Come Talk With Me
Maybe only He has the answer for you. We only have to listen. Isn't easy to listen.
Maybe it's not a pretty answer. But you know in your heart that it's true. And you're honest enough to know you really really need help badly with this not so pretty picture. This not so pretty answer.
But one thing for sure. The answer and the picture are never ever about your being bad, or not deserving, or in any way being not ok.
Because His Truth, as unflattering as it may be, comes always with an understanding beyond anything human. To hear Hashem say, "I understand", is like no other love we've ever known.
Maybe you're just different and unique enough that He's the only One who really understands your heartache, and can hold you as you weep, and gentle you, and help you recover, and find the Love that only He can give that's just for you..
Such a talk with Him might help.
When all else fails, when the counsel of the chevrah, the rav, the sforim, when nothing seems to be working, sometimes a quiet walk and a quiet talk, where we're really willing to listen, way down deep, and we hear that gentlest of all gentlest voices tell us, " It's ok. Here's where to go next. And when you need to go to the next place, come talk to Me again. I didn't go anywhere. For you... it's a local call" . Sometimes such a walk, as Rebbe Nachman advises, does the trick.
For us special cases.