A Hole in Our Soul
This is a problem of connection. Most of us have a hole in our soul and we fill it up by escaping into a fantasy land where quick pleasures give us temporary relief and then we feel horrible and do it again to feel better again. This is no way to live.
Figure out what is causing you to want to escape (loneliness, anger, resentment, fear, anxiety, stress) and learn ways to cope, or go speak with a counselor about it.
You can do this. Read what's available on the GYE website and realize you are not alone.