Yesterday was a hard day for me. I actually told Hashem, "Hashem, I am powerless over this struggle, if you want me to fall - I will, for I have no strength that is my own. Hashem what do you want? Perhaps you want me to fall so that I recognize that I have no power, but please accept my words as if I would have fallen, cuz I sooooo know that I am useless without You!"