Shedding Light on the Gay Issue
SSA is a symptom of a disorder and not the disorder itself
In my understanding, SSA is a symptom reflecting an emotional disorder and not in itself a disorder. Since SSA is reflective of an emotional deficit, it is usually accompanied by other emotional difficulties. Poor self-esteem, lack of assertiveness, excessive concern for the approval of others etc. are often part of the larger picture. The particular same-sex others the person will be attracted to are usually those who have qualities he so desperately wants for himself (e.g., looks, assertiveness, confidence). The desire for physical closeness is often a magical wish to physically incorporate these admired qualities into one’s self.
In my clinical experience there is often a substantial difference in the very nature of the search for a partner among heterosexuals and homosexuals. Heterosexuals generally tend to look for other-gender partners who complement them. A heterosexual male could feel very adequate in all that he feels he is supposed to be, yet he needs to find a partner who, by design, possess qualities he isn’t supposed to have in order to complement his masculinity. My male patients with SSA, in contrast, tend to seek out other males who they feel are very accomplished in areas they have always felt themselves to be inadequate, in order to compensate for their own inadequacies. Since they are trying to compensate for what they believe is missing in themselves, (usually qualities they identify as masculine) they need to attach themselves to someone of the same gender. In addition, since they are driven by the negative and painful emotion of inadequacy, the interest they take in their object of interest often has an obsessive quality.
In evaluating the nature of a specific family’s dynamics it is important to keep in mind that people often present a less than accurate picture of their familial relationships, so that they may paint a much rosier picture of their relationship with their parents than is factually true. I cite abundant research evidence for this in my article “Chemical Imbalance or Problems in Living?”