Accepting the Things We Can't Control
Yesterday on my way to Shacharis, I felt VERY uncomfortable & irritable, and I knew I had to do something about this feeling or it might lead me to acting out.
So I tried to call someone (1st thing in the morning is even harder than trying to find someone at 2 AM in the morning!) No luck. SO, I trudged off to kollel. I wanted to just ignore this feeling and get on with my day, hoping it would get better.
But, I knew this feeling would still be lurking in the background.
So, I sat down and wrote a letter to myself (something I have done before). I got all the things that were bothering me out onto paper (I somehow like this more than the formal "4th step worksheets"). Then, I tried to write myself an answer. I was surprised at how many things came out of my head, so many things that were bothering me. And, I was able to take the things I can't control and accept them. The only thing I couldchange, was my attitude about certain things. I realized it was up to ME to decide whether to be happy about these things or worried about them.
The process took about a half hour, but it gave me peace of mind for the rest of the day (and has continued). It was well worth it.