What spouses of addicts need to know
I would like to share an important point with wives of men who struggle:
Your husband is not acting out because of you.
He is not doing it to spite you.
He is not doing it because he misses something which he thought he could have gotten from you.
He is doing it because he is out of control.
He is not thinking of you because he is not thinking, period!!!
"His love and care for you should stop him", you say.
So I ask you, "How about his love and care for himself?"
Well, the same way that doesn't stop him although he knows that he is ruining his life, his love and care for you can't stop him either.
Think of him like a drunk.
Did you ever try reasoning with a drunk?
Do you have any expectations of care and concern from a drunk?
What he needs is GYE, which understands what he is going through, and the support which they give.
If you can tap into GYE and learn what he is going through and offer to be his support, great.
If not, let him get support from someone else.
What you should do, is push him when he is "sober" to contact GYE and follow the steps.
His love and care for you should be enough to at least get him to GYE.