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Feeling Normal

By "Hashem Help Me"

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Well, I am at day 36 and, thank G-d, still clean. This experience has been tremendous. For the first time in my life, I have had whom to reach out to for help: people who really understood me, having been through it themselves. Unlike speaking with a therapist, where there is the constant background feeling of "he is normal while I am sick/bad," I spoke with people who made me feel normal and even good about myself. I have been able to open up in ways that I never could before.

I was even able to be in contact with some of the chevra about how to prepare properly for mikva night. Instead of that discussion being a trigger, it helped me focus on giving to my wife in a way not done before, and I was free from my own desires and able to achieve real intimacy.

I can't thank all of you enough - those who I have gotten to know by phone and email - and even those who take out the time to respond on the forum. Hashem should bless all of you with hatzlocha.