The invitation to Brett and Cindy's wedding came the other day. Neither one is an observant Jew, and their families know nothing about tzniut. Now that I've made a commitment to control my eyes, my first reaction was "I can't go!"
But I see Brett at the office every day and he seems really anxious for me to be there. "Don't worry, Steve," he keeps urging me, "I'll order kosher food for you." How could he understand if I tell him there'll be more there that's not kosher besides the food?
If it were anybody else, I would simply send a nice gift and explain that I will not be able to attend. Usually, that's acceptable (especially if it's a really nice gift!), and I don't have to compromise my Torah standards.
But in this case, I'll have to show up, at least for part of the time. I told Brett that he can count on me to be there for the ceremony, but right after the ceremony, I'll have to be on my way. "And you'll save on that kosher meal," I kidded him.
I've been told that even if they wear an immodest dress for the reception, some women cover up for the "religious" part of the wedding. If I'm lucky, that will be the case. If not, I'll have to put into action everything I've learned about Shmirat Einayim. In any case, I'll leave just as soon as I can.
These e-mails are excerpts taken from the book "Windows of the Soul" by Rabbi Zvi Miller of the Salant Foundation.