Wednesday, 18 January 2012

My Emotions are My Problem

To someone full of anger at the addiction and the world, Dov writes:

by Dov (See all authors)

If nothing else works, dear yid, and you ever decide to turn to the Steps for help, you may discover that under all your pain and rage, your real problem is your own resentment. Nobody else has the power to give you rage. My emotions are my own problem, and getting freedom requires me to let go of the right to hate the hell out of someone. Actually, out of anyone. I believe that very few people really want to "do bad" - we all do what has a payoff for us, whether it's really good for us or not. I acted out for 25 years (even though it was clearly screwing me up) because my heart told me it was in my very best interest to get that nice, warm, and loving feeling that porn gives me. You couldn't have convinced me otherwise at the time. The people we resent (evil jerks) are almost always people who have a very screwed-up sense of what is in their best interest.

They, of course, learned that somewhere... probably from their sick parents who carried around their own immense pain and resentment and just wouldn't let it go either.

So, I say keep reading this forum and see how out of control you are. You may then say, "Holy (cow)! I am ruled by character defects that I can't fight!" Then you might read the book, "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions", by AA, on steps 4-7. If you work those steps your life will be changed drastically and probably forever. And your wife and children will be very grateful to you.

Maybe I am a fool... Correction: I am a fool. But I am a fool who loves you and all addicts.