Wednesday, 28 December 2011

An Emunah that We Really Use

Below is a response that Dov wrote to a guy who wrote that he was reading a book on porn and its dangers, in order to stop acting out with schmutz. He also wrote that he does not see how his acting out is affecting him in any way but religiously.

by Dov (See all authors)

Part of your subject line is: "is Emunah the answer?"... nice name. Well, I am here b'Shem Hashem to say it is certainly not the answer. Having all the emunah a sefer can give you or a rebbe can teach you, is all nice - but it is not the answer for people like us.

The answer for people like us is living emunah. An emunah that really works, for a change. Not an emunah that we 'really know' - but an emunah that we really use.

It's completely different. Learning Emunos Vedeyos or Chovos Halevavos or even the Aseres Hadibros is not even part of the answer for us. How do I know that? How can I prove that? Because we all did those things - and here we are aching for porn, searching for it, finding it and our fantasies, and masturbating to them like a bunch of idiots. Just like that! Nu, so where is all the emunah?

Something is wrong with us. Period.

We need to stop reading and start practicing using G-d. He wants us to use Him. "Hashem li" - He is for me. Dodi li - He is mine - my beloved - for me.

Yes, we need to read or listen in order to know what to do - but the real doing - the experience of using G-d and having Him actually work. Not in our mitzvos, learning and good times, but in our weaknesses, our selfish lying moments, and while we are on our knees in the bathroom in slavery to our lust fantasy drug - that

I ask you, then: How does reading books about sexuality or acting out with it, bring a real working faith in Hashem into my life?

To ask your own question now: Lust is a great drug. So what do I fill its space with when I'm in pain?

Rav Dessler writes that Hashem needs to fill that space - and that only He can. And that is the program. But reading has believes

Get it?