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Re: PORN 23 Jan 2023 21:17 #391179

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i would suggest you to change the subject of this thread
 One day at a time brother, don't run too fast
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Re: Day 120 23 Jan 2023 18:29 #391177

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Reb NL&S, MAZAL TOV! Keep trucking, inspiring and sharing your words of wisdom for many, many years to come!
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Re: Comics 23 Jan 2023 18:03 #391175

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the order the panels are supposed to be read is from top right to left.
unlike a regular English comic from left to right.
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Re: It's all in the name 23 Jan 2023 17:56 #391174

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Same here!
I was able to read about half of it and then spaced out.....
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any sa groups by definition cannot be a jewish or frum only group. 
there are groups in which most people in them are frum. is that what you are looking for?
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Re: Work in progress 23 Jan 2023 13:54 #391163

sleepy wrote on 23 Jan 2023 05:34:

Vehkam wrote on 23 Jan 2023 05:25:

Tonight I read chapter 3 of the battle of the generation.  I remember The first time I read this chapter almost a year ago and cried when I read the following paragraph on page 35.

“ Yet perhaps the most painful part of this episode is when we give up on our dreams. feeling permanently stained by our sins we believe we can no longer become what we dreamed of.  even if we know that we should never give up on our dreams no matter how low we have fallen, emotionally we feel that anyone who has fallen this badly can’t become great.   we wanted to become special and significant and instead we feel doomed to be inferior forever. There is nothing more painful than this feeling. “.

This pain was so intense inside of me and it was such a relief to read the author describing it.

The difference bethween living with dreams or without them is almost as significant as the difference between life and death.


very good point,still struggling with that thought and it has broken me. the only positive thing that has came out from such a thought is "ok sleepy you wont have an influence on others, and wont be able to inspire others , or change others for the better.but there is one person who you can still make an impresion on and can change that person, and that persons name is sleepy." i hope Hashem will be happy with that ,and accept that little contribution in makeing this world a better place.


in my experience, I have seen that the best way to make an influence on others is to work on myself, and not be ashamed to share with people who will gain from it, that I have struggled, and I am working on my struggles

People appreciate seeing a real person just like themselves who continues to aspire and doesn’t give up

I get the strength from my role  models who act the same way
Challenge accepted!

If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 

My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once
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Wife took device straight to the store first thing this morning. I am making an active effort to not be thrilled by the new device.

constantly reminding myself it is a business tool to be used when needed and not more than that, not a toy to play with as much as I want
Challenge accepted!

If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 

My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once
Last Edit: 23 Jan 2023 13:50 by iLoveHashem247.
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Re: Work in progress 23 Jan 2023 06:09 #391159

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sleepy wrote on 23 Jan 2023 05:34:

Vehkam wrote on 23 Jan 2023 05:25:

Tonight I read chapter 3 of the battle of the generation.  I remember The first time I read this chapter almost a year ago and cried when I read the following paragraph on page 35.

“ Yet perhaps the most painful part of this episode is when we give up on our dreams. feeling permanently stained by our sins we believe we can no longer become what we dreamed of.  even if we know that we should never give up on our dreams no matter how low we have fallen, emotionally we feel that anyone who has fallen this badly can’t become great.   we wanted to become special and significant and instead we feel doomed to be inferior forever. There is nothing more painful than this feeling. “.

This pain was so intense inside of me and it was such a relief to read the author describing it.

The difference bethween living with dreams or without them is almost as significant as the difference between life and death.


very good point,still struggling with that thought and it has broken me. the only positive thing that has came out from such a thought is "ok sleepy you wont have an influence on others, and wont be able to inspire others , or change others for the better.but there is one person who you can still make an impresion on and can change that person, and that persons name is sleepy." i hope Hashem will be happy with that ,and accept that little contribution in makeing this world a better world.

and thats why i cant give up on myself because improveing sleepy is all i have left in this world
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
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Re: Having a rough time 23 Jan 2023 06:06 #391158

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My dear friend, it is so important to work with goals, the way you do. But you must also remember that any amount of time that you stay clean is yours forever. For some funny reason I see many people post on the forum that they stayed clean a few hundred days, and then they fell, "and it all went down the drain". That is plain silly. Anything you accomplish is yours forever, and nothing you do wrong after that takes it away. You have 10 holy days! Forever yours. If you think of it like this the YH will have a much harder time getting you to feel the thud. Keep trucking my holy friend, and keep posting! We want to hear!
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turning.point wrote on 23 Jan 2023 02:15:
A few major tragedies happened to me around Adar of 5782 that made me hit "rock bottom."  As I approach a year from then, I'm thinking about that right now.  Part of the reason of having a personal "what works for me" thread is to remind myself.  So, here's a link yet again to "Battle of the Generation" by Hillel S.:
guardyoureyes.com/ebooks?task=callelement&format=raw&item_id=5540&element=f85c494b-2b32-4109-b8c1-083cca2b7db6&method=download
I'm reading chapters 11 and 12.  That "rock bottom" moment spurred me to go cold turkey, cold walks, cold shoulder to the Satan.  Now, as the book reminds me, I have to get past that and set my goals for the future.  It's not easy, but many worthwhile things are not easy.

By the way, if you prefer to access this book on your own instead of clicking on a link, do this: click on the "Library" link up at the top of the GYE website, then click on the "ebooks" menu tab up top just below the Dashboard bar.  As of this post, the "Battle" book is on tab 3 at the bottom of the page.  Also, as is probably clear from my other posts, I favor the 12-step method.  A lot of the terminology in "Battle" is written from that perspective.

I want to build good things.  I want to feel fulfilled.  I want to be happy.  Divine justice works without my intervention.  G-d doesn't need me at all.  That means that I can focus on myself and my avodah, rather than on trying to understand that unknowable aspect of Divine Justice.  I want to feel good, and the only way to do that is through a lot of hard work.  That work might not feel very rewarding along the road.  There might be disappointments along that road.  I can only feel re-assured that no matter what burdens I might face in this material world, I may yet have some portion in the World to Come as a reward for this effort in this world.  Despite the difficulty, the only way to possibly succeed in this world is through that hard work.  Perhaps, if my teshuvah is genuine and my intentions sincere, there might yet be an insight gifted upon me by the Divine Inspirer that makes traveling the road easier.  I haven't given up on the possibility of being entrusted with that gift.

Whatever doesn't work, I will discard the ineffective parts and learn from the remainder.

All that effort might not work -- but then again, it might!  

im sorry to hear about your major tradegies ,may Hashems midas harachamim shine on you and just like after a father gives a potch, he gives a treat. so too should Hashem treat you and give you consolation!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
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Ah, A holy yid who knows how to give the YH a good kick in the pants, no matter how quietly he whispers...
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Re: Work in progress 23 Jan 2023 05:41 #391155

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Overcoming the challenges (according to the mesilas yesharim) is the purpose of life in this world. It is what makes us significant and great. (And ultimately deserving on some level of hashems reward). So you are 100% correct- the only person we need to change is ourselves.
vehkam7@gmail.com

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The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.
Last Edit: 23 Jan 2023 05:41 by Vehkam.
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Re: Work in progress 23 Jan 2023 05:34 #391154

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Vehkam wrote on 23 Jan 2023 05:25:

Tonight I read chapter 3 of the battle of the generation.  I remember The first time I read this chapter almost a year ago and cried when I read the following paragraph on page 35.

“ Yet perhaps the most painful part of this episode is when we give up on our dreams. feeling permanently stained by our sins we believe we can no longer become what we dreamed of.  even if we know that we should never give up on our dreams no matter how low we have fallen, emotionally we feel that anyone who has fallen this badly can’t become great.   we wanted to become special and significant and instead we feel doomed to be inferior forever. There is nothing more painful than this feeling. “.

This pain was so intense inside of me and it was such a relief to read the author describing it.

The difference bethween living with dreams or without them is almost as significant as the difference between life and death.


very good point,still struggling with that thought and it has broken me. the only positive thing that has came out from such a thought is "ok sleepy you wont have an influence on others, and wont be able to inspire others , or change others for the better.but there is one person who you can still make an impresion on and can change that person, and that persons name is sleepy." i hope Hashem will be happy with that ,and accept that little contribution in makeing this world a better place.
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 23 Jan 2023 07:06 by sleepy.

Re: Work in progress 23 Jan 2023 05:25 #391153

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Tonight I read chapter 3 of the battle of the generation.  I remember The first time I read this chapter almost a year ago and cried when I read the following paragraph on page 35.

“ Yet perhaps the most painful part of this episode is when we give up on our dreams. feeling permanently stained by our sins we believe we can no longer become what we dreamed of.  even if we know that we should never give up on our dreams no matter how low we have fallen, emotionally we feel that anyone who has fallen this badly can’t become great.   we wanted to become special and significant and instead we feel doomed to be inferior forever. There is nothing more painful than this feeling. “.

This pain was so intense inside of me and it was such a relief to read the author describing it.

The difference bethween living with dreams or without them is almost as significant as the difference between life and death.

vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.
Last Edit: 23 Jan 2023 05:27 by Vehkam.
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Just a quick update:
I've been clean from porn for about two weeks now, though masturbation is still a struggle. I am doing it less but it's still an issue. I actually broke my commitment to not masturbate on Shabbos this week for a pretty silly reason (I had a very persistent erection and that was the only way I could think of getting rid of it...)

Still struggling with the aftermath of this online relationship. Trying to move on but feeling very lonely. Trying to stay connected to friends and family as best I can but nothing can really substitute the warmth and availability this girl provided me with. My therapist says the best way to move on would be to start dating and find another girl I could have a loving relationship with. I'm very eager to do so, but am unable to at the moment for reasons I've listed before. So I'm working on my issues and trying to sort things out so I can move forward on that front, but in the interim-at the very least several weeks, though possibly much longer-I'm gonna be struggling with this deep sense of loneliness.

I guess I'll need to try my best to stay busy and distracted from the emotional void that I've only recently discovered within myself.

In other news I met a dear GYE friend for the first time this past Friday, was a very exciting experience. Don't want to out anybody so i won't say who. You know who you are (if you want to out yourself you're welcome to   )
We went together to meet up with a third GYE friend and had all in all had a splendid time. My seven years of membership in GYE haven't solved my kedusha issues just yet but have given me several cherished and hopefully lifelong friends. And if that's the only thing I ever gain here-דיינו.

Anyways gotta go to sleep. Thanks for reading,
OivedElokim
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 
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