I will not deny in the slightest that I suffered from a sickness. And yes once I was deeply stuck in the habit of acting out, fear of punishment was not a deterrent. My point was that we cannot reinvent the Torah where there are clear punishments for aveiros. Once one is addicted his/her nekudas habechira may be such that he is/she is not held as accountable or accountable at all for their actions. (see Michtav M'Eliyahu). However the first few times which got us hooked in the first place may be something we will be held responsible for.

I am not passing judgement on anyone. I only wrote to ask for clarification of a statement that seemed to imply that our loving Father does not punish.

GrowStrong wrote on 05 Sep 2017 22:40:

Glad to hear that you are so plugged in. 12 steps teach humility, as in we have no clue as to what our God does or doesn't do. To decide that your god punishes thru addiction (in the first place), and that it is sufficient enough seems to me as a pretty brazen statement and assertion. Perhaps tell your god what to do and what not to do.

Personally, I am not convinced at all that my God even gave me this addiction.

B'hatzlachah to all

I am sorry but this whole thread is now niggling me the wrong way.
Reb HHM all those punishments in the Torah never stopped you from acting out for 30-40 years because you were a sick person.
Sick NOT evil.
Cords - my God does not mete out punishments to his beloved children who he gave the dis-ease of addiction to... the dis-ease is a 'punishment' enough until they wake up.
There is a reason why I am cured only for today as long as i take my medicine.
If i stop taking my medicine, ill get back into my own personal gehennom... thats 'punishment' enough.
And the medicine begins with "trust God"
This thread now belongs in the non addict section of the forum for all the people who need chizzuk to stop doing aveiros.

helpmeout613 wrote on 24 Jun 2013 01:34:


Welcome back
If you feel blogging is the solution, go ahead.

I'd call Dov or Cord' if I was you

Unknowngye, you can buy a big book on Amazon: www.amazon.com/Alcoholics-Big-Book/dp/1893007170/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WQ3MHQY13RHD1243DZDB

Welcome (back)

​Thanks for your post.

What happens to many of us, it can take many days, week, or even months, that we can really know ourselves, and get an honest look on what the issue is for real. Therefore we try this and that, and we get to learn what we are facing and start to deal with it.

while I went and consulted at 3 times through out my 17 years of acting out with three different rabunim/mentors. all of them are smart. But none of their advice was able to help me get over this! why? At that time i thought i am telling them the truth. But, how can I tell them the truth before i am telling myself the truth. Their advice was applicable to the question i posed before them. However that was not my real problem. the same problem will be when i will go to a therapist and will hide from myself and/or him the truth, then he wont be able to help me. However therapist in general, and especially addiction therapists will know to read between lines and to fish out what really is going on.

so, welcome back, and lets start talking and reading here on the forum, perhaps you will find yourself in one of my or someone else posts, and then get to know yourself, and then you may find what may be helpful to you.

Wishing you lots of Hatzlacha on your journey 

sat on SLAA chat tonight for 10pm meeting.
I 'm not sure its for porn addiction.
Maybe more appropriate for ppl actually sleeping around but I hope to get some knowledge that I can use.
Otherwise I will just let it go.
Good night all

@Ihavestrength
Thanks dude. Yeah you got a good point there, it's much better to get rid of the addiction before I find a woman and start a family.

Day 46: @markz The "grief" is from the technical issues. The program rendered my new laptop practically unusable and was causing my phone to lag and crash. Hopefully it will be resolved soon. I really don't like having my devices unfiltered. Just seems negligent to have the ultimate garbage a click away. 

@shivisi Thanks. 

I really must check if I actually committed to writing everyday this time around. I don't remember.

Oops. In responding I forgot to post something new for today.

I think one thing this addiction took away from me is the ability to intentionally engage in pleasurable activities in a healthy way.

This addiction taught me to equate pleasure with destruction.

Pleasure can be very healthy I think. When I listen to a nice song to give myself a break after studying a bit, what's wrong with that? Nothing, I think. Unfortunately, I have to retrain myself not to feel guilty when engaging in healthy pleasures in the course of leading a balanced life. The addiction caused to me think in black and white. Pleasure=Bad/Guilt. Deprivation/working hard=good. 



@mayan Thanks. I never asked him.

landmine wrote on 03 Sep 2017 11:31:

There are landmines everywhere

How do you know the grass on the other side is much greener - what are you doing now that defeats recovery and meetings and how is the Holy land different?

I do struggle somewhat, but by having strong filters I would say that escapism is really the problem. I can go quite long without any pron. But yes I might be addicted to that too given the chance. I can get addicted to anything given the chance

My story:

I am in my early 30's and have had a bit of a tough life. People don't necessarily see that when they look at me, but that's how it is. I am divorced (only very briefly married ages ago). I have had some success at my current university, but need time out to recover from my addiction.

I am moving to Israel to try and get into a life of recovery. Where I am at the moment is not conducive to recovery. I am going to try and start a new life for a year in Israel and go to meetings every day. I must just try and focus on becoming a functional human  being focused on recovery.

My addiction: I am totally addicted to escapism. I watch films and read whenever possible which is almost all the time. I stay awake at night and my life is a mess.

So what would be 90 days of sobriety? What constitutes sobriety for me. My main addiction is not masturbation, although I think 90 days without would be tough. My main addiction is escapism. technically if I look up the news I am using, so I would have to start again. I shall be going somewhere where I will have limited access to internet, but what will constitute a clean day. If I read a few lines of a novel would that ruin it?

Let me know what you think?

hello I grew up modern orthodox with access to all the garbage and became addicted to pornography. as I grew older I became much more frum and even chassidish, but have been living with these desires for many years. I started looking at stuff at around 15 years old and continued until I got married at age 22. at that point I was out of my house but still had desires at which point I began searching for ways to access it, which mainly included buying cheap smartphones from drug stores. I am 29 years old and still do this, throwing it out in disgust every few days or so, holding off for a few days or maybe a week, then buying it again and going through the same cycle. I don't know what to do to rid myself of this. help!

Hope4debetter wrote on 23 Aug 2017 17:40:

What did the psychiatrist tell you? Did he recommend pills?

Needtoclearmyhead wrote on 24 Aug 2017 16:58:

any one wants to give me more info/leads for research or guidelines?
To differentiate the normal from the crazy?