The Three-Second Rule: [...] After recognizing that there is an unexpectedly attractive or seductively dressed person on the street, for example, they can train themselves to do the following, rather than allowing themselves to “get into” addiction thinking (try it, it works well).

1st Second—Take one second to acknowledge that this is an attractive person or situation that you find arousing and a turn on (sexual attraction is a natural part of being human that must be acknowledged, not shamed or avoided).

2nd Second—Look away. Look down or away, take this second to appreciate the sky, your surroundings, anything other than the object of your desire. Let yourself be aware that you are struggling; that you would rather keep staring at that person or get something (sexual) going with them or someone else. Allow the feeling, but instead of acting on it, take an opposite action by choosing to look away.

3rd Second—While still looking away, imagine in your mind that person as someone’s daughter, granddaughter, nephew, son, etc. See them (in your mind, not by looking at them a second time) as a genuine, spiritual, real person, worthy of love, who doesn’t deserve to be used sexually or romantically and then thrown away. Then keep moving on. By allowing the feeling, choosing to turn away and then de-objectifying the person, you get to stay in the world and feel okay about yourself, as a healthy person with healthy sexual desires, who does not act on them every time you feel them, and as someone who appreciates that people are people, not objects. The more addicts practice this simple exercise the easier it becomes to “be” in the world with less temptation and more hope.

It’s important to stay well rested as fatigue can trigger porn use. However, many rebooters have relied on their porn ritual as a sleep-aid for years. Without it, sleep is elusive at first. (Insomnia is a standard addiction withdrawal symptom.) Find what works for you. [,..]

Avoid replacing porn use with alcohol. Yes, it will help you fall asleep, but alcohol can wake you up too early, not fully rested. It’s also not a good idea to replace an addiction with something else that is potentially addictive. Here are some suggestions that worked for others: The first week was pretty rough for me in terms of sleep quality. One thing I did to break out of it was not to use my laptop/read in bed. I set it up on the kitchen table and would only lie down in bed when I got tired. * Definitely get a reading lamp. Something about having just that one light on in the room shining on your book will make you ve-he-heh-ry sleepy. * I started running late at night. When I get back I take a shower and hit the sack. It puts me to sleep instantly. * I turn on music I enjoy that my mind can focus on. Puts me to sleep almost every time. * Reading works well for me if I can’t sleep. It’s a ‘replacement behaviour’ for masturbating to porn. I’ve also worked hard at telling myself that missing sleep for a night isn’t the end of the world. That really helps. * My approach was consistent exercise, as much sunlight as possible (natural melatonin), and abiding by the ‘use your bed only for sleep and sex rule’ – which for single me translated to ‘use your bed only for sleep’. * If restlessness gets super bad, I actually do Kegel exercises [pelvic-floor exercises], even in the middle of the night. They tend to ease the longing/withdrawal by redistributing the energy, or whatever. The muscles get a little attention for a while with the kegeling and tend to ‘go back to sleep’. * Get up earlier. It’s also the best time to fit in a workout. You’ll be tired by the time it is time to go to sleep in the evening. * What works for me is to wake up and go to bed at regular times, and to avoid intense physical activity immediately before sleep. * Lie on your back and list everything that you are grateful for. When I first started doing this, my gratitude list was long. Now, I barely get through being thankful for my friends and my dog and I’m dead asleep. Some guys have benefitted from supplements, herbal teas, such as camomile, and other home remedies.

Withdrawal symptoms can catch you by surprise. Common symptoms include: irritability, anxiety or even panic, unaccustomed tears, restlessness, lethargy, headaches, brain fog, depression, mood swings, desire to isolate, muscle tightness, insomnia, and severe cravings to use porn. For some people, sporadic withdrawal symptoms can continue for months. Talk about your feelings with a supportive person who is knowledgeable about the porn addiction cycle. Most often this person will be a fellow [GYE]] member, a twelve-step sponsor or a therapist. Close friends not in recovery and family members can also be helpful. (Based on Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn & Weiss, Robert, Sex Addiction 101)

Do Sex Addicts Experience Withdrawal? It is common knowledge that alcoholics and drug addicts, when they suddenly go “cold turkey,” often experience withdrawal, things like: delirium tremens (the DTs), chills, fevers, insomnia, night sweats, headaches, nausea, diarrhea, tachycardia (elevated heart rate), hypertension, depression, agitation, anxiety, hallucinations, irritability, and the like. Withdrawal from some substances is worse than withdrawal from others. Opiate addiction (including addiction to heroin) and alcoholism tend to produce the worst physical symptoms. Sometimes these symptoms can actually be life-threatening if not medically managed.1 Typically, substance addicts dealing with severe physical withdrawal symptoms are “titrated” off their drug of choice, meaning they are given a medication that “manages” their withdrawal by temporarily replacing their addictive drug of choice, and then they are slowly but steadily weaned off of that medication. Usually this process takes anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. But what about sexual addiction.

Do sex addicts get the DTs and hallucinate the same as alcoholics and heroin addicts? Typically they do not. This does not, however, mean that a sudden stoppage of addictive sexual fantasy and activity does not produce withdrawal. In fact, it nearly always does to some degree. Most often withdrawal from sexual addiction manifests as one or more of the following:
√ IRRITABILITY, ANXIETY, AGITATION, DEPRESSION, etc.: Most sex addicts experience extreme emotional discomfort in early sobriety. And why not? After all, addictive sexuality has been their primary way of coping with any and all discomfort—including feelings as seemingly benign as boredom—for years on end. When the addiction is taken away, they no longer have this easy means of numbing out and escaping. And without that, they must face their emotions head-on. For people who’ve been trying to “not feel” for years or even decades, this can be an incredibly uncomfortable experience both for them and those around them.
√ A DESIRE TO EXPLORE OTHER POTENTIAL ADDICTIONS: Many sex addicts new to recovery find themselves replacing (or longing to replace) their sexual addiction with some other compulsive (and highly distracting) activity. Sometimes this manifests as a cross-addiction. For instance, a sex addict who suddenly stops acting out experiences a corresponding flood of uncomfortable emotions (as discussed above), and without compulsive sexuality to stem the tide, he or she may turn to drinking, drugging, smoking, eating, gambling, spending, or any other pleasurable substance or behavior. Knowing this, it is incredibly important that recovering sex addicts keep a watchful eye on other pleasure inducing behaviors, especially in the first few months of the recovery process.
√ LONELINESS AND LONGING FOR CONNECTION: For most sex addicts, sexual acting out masks not only day-to-day stress and emotional discomfort, but underlying issues related to a longing for intimacy. Without the constant distraction of sexual fantasy and activity, this longer-term condition can rise to the surface and cause intense feelings of loneliness, fear, isolation, and unhappiness. These feelings are perfectly normal and to be expected. After all, sex addicts are grieving the loss of their primary long-term relationship (their addiction), and they naturally feel a need to replace it.