Hi EvedHashem620!
I’m also new to the forum and I think I may be kind of in the same situation as yourself. I definitely think I can relate to you. As Readyforhelp wrote, you came to the right place.
The one thing I’ve found to work is taking it one day at a time. 90 days is the big thing around here but if you think 90 days clean, you might think you can never do it.
There was an incredible power point slide show they attached in the daily Chizzuk emails a little while back but unfortunately I don’t know where to find it right now. The story in short was as follows... There was a tremendous garden of flowers. Miles and miles long! The amazing thing about that garden was, one person had planted all those flowers! One flower everyday for years on end. How is that possible? No one can make a garden of flowers miles long. In one day no can, that’s true! But if you plant one flower everyday for the next year then in one year from now you’ll have 365 flowers! 365 FLOWERS! THATS TONS!
The same is true with holding back from Taavos. Your human. You know that you can’t hold out for the rest of your life. We’ve all tried the “I’m done, I’ll never look at a women again other then my wife” thing. It never worked. It can’t work. Your Yetzer Hara won’t allow it and your own physical being wont allow it. It’s not something we can do. (Well, most of us at least. About 99.9999 percent of people can’t do that.)
So the way to do it is one day at a time. Tell yourself “today I’m gonna be strong, today I’m gonna win! Tonight I’m going to get into bed and smile and say I won!” And that will be one day down. And the next day you’ll repeat. In a few days you’ll say “Wow! It’s been a full week! 7 whole days! I’m a winner!” Then 90 days then forever. But one day at a time. Slow and steady!
I’m trying this myself. Haven’t quite perfected it yet but it’s one way to start... One day at a time.
Wishing you all the best on your journey!
