Hey
Mazal Tov! I made it to 90 days clean with Hashems help and the support of GYE!
I thought I'd try and list what's worked for me so far, if it will help any
one out there.
#1 Having a filter.
This is plastered all over GYE, but I gotta reiterate it. However motivated you are and however str
ong you think you can be, having a filter is imperative to staying clean and guarding your eyes. I use Covenant Eyes for my laptop, and Net Nanny for my android ph
one. Both of these filter the sites
on your device, but also give your accountability partner access to view reports
on everything you visit.
#2 No filter is complete without you.
That being said, every filter has its holes in the system. I d
on't want to bring attenti
on to them and cause temptati
on for any
one unaware of them, but I pers
onally know where the yetzer hora takes me to that isn't blocked. So you need to stay far away from them - be it having a ph
one curfew, restricting your use of devices when al
one or in the bathroom - whatever works for you. This is still a battle for me, so bring
on #3.
#3 Hashem is in control.
Talk to G-d. We can't do this al
one. Ask Him to take away temptati
on and help us through this... It helps.
#4 90 days chart.
This isn't the ultimate goal, nor am I immune now, but having a goal in sight is infinitely helpful in overcoming the temptati
on rush. Join the climb, update regularly and appreciate how well you are doing! It definitely helped me.
#5 Music
As I type, I'm listening to some awesome Jewish music. While I do listen to n
on-jewish music, I have seen the difference in staying clean when tempted while listening to 'kosher' music. Try it - there's something that just calms you and really helps there. Combine this with #6 for the ultimate recipe
.
#6 Distraction
Sitting in your room and white-knuckling doesn't work. Guaranteed that l
ong term it's easier if you train yourself to never open the door to the temptati
on. Find a hobby, exercise, ph
one your parents or treat yourself to an ice cream. Whatever distracts you - it's not cheating, it helps. For me this was
one of the most important, and now the temptati
on doesn't find its way in from boredom
.
#7 Guard your eyes (and hands) - from yourself.
Maybe this should have been #1, because for me this is literally the game changer. When I turned around and decided to stop
on Tisha Bav, I also made this commitment. Basically I thought about it logically and realised that dieting is impossible if there's cake
on the table always.
SO - DON'T LOOK AND DONT TOUCH. Never look at or touch your Makom Habris. It's that simple. You lie to yourself and say you need to when you go to the bathroom etc, but your brain isn't that stupid... You learn to be excused while not touching it. Looking is much harder, but d
on't look down. Showering is the hardest time but you can do it! For me this totally changes things - it made staying clean a thousand times easier.
#8 Talk to people.
Whether you're ready to tell a real pers
on, or post
on GYE, talking out what works and does't and how you're doing is a crucial part of recovery.
#9 Don't get down.
It's hard. D
on't get depressed. Firstly, for me I know that falling is the worst thing and impossible to get back up. So I use the three sec
ond rule, if you see something think and then look away. Then c
ongratulate yourself! D
on't let the Yetzer Hora win. Same goes for nights... unintenti
onal falls d
on't count. So d
on't be upset, Just
KEEP ON TRUCKING.
I had lots to write but thats all I can think of now. Feel free to add chizuk and comments in reply, I can't wait to read them - I'm still
on this journey too. If any of the moderators could pin this for a while I'd appreciate that because I really want those who can to benefit from this. KOT guys. Thank you all. Kol Tuv!
S
), this post is really quite an inspirati