Just going through your list, it seems that if you'd be in the market for a G-d, you are probably looking for a G-d Who would love you and hold of you. That is, a G-d who will give you intense pleasure and also convince you that you are hot stuff. A G-d who lets you succeed every time and gives you great deal of confidence in yourself that lasts in all circumstances and with all people. Perhaps one who removes all your fears or shame.

So far, not unreasonable.

It's serious. "Hashem" as you know Him is obviously not for you. The G-d that you really need needs to be discovered by looking inside you. And seeing our obsessions and inhibitions helps us see what it is that we truly expect out of our Higher Powers.

I am not kidding. This is not for the faint of heart and is not the kind of talk that will survive very long on the open forum. People will think it is apikorsus to seem to open up to a 'different G-d' than the one we have been carrying around for so long. After all, isn't that 'doubting Hashem'?

Sadly, the entire goal of so many on GYE (and of even more out there and not on GYE!) is precisely to fit in to the G-d they have been carrying around all these years. The fact that He was the same G-d they were bargaining with all these years and running from and back to, does not seem to be an issue.

The fact that a person can have a halachically true concept of Hashem - and yet still have Him all wrong - does not occur to them. And the idea that their own private concept of Hashem has likely been one of the most basic things that caused (and still causes) them to have to act out so much over the years - well, that seems crazy to them! Too scary.

Nu. Maybe they are right. But not as far as I am concerned.

Hashem needs no 'fixing up' - we do.

Where to from here? Try reading Stepping Into Action on this, if you can get a hand on it, or the NA Workbook. Or just keep writing.

hi guys I hate that I miss the tuesday night phone call but I appreciate gibbor posting and following the back and forth with dov.shkoyach

ummm.....hi?


:o

Yitz here as well

nu?  :-*

Was the ladder owned by a rabbi named Amrom?

Gibor, fyi, I'm following your thread as well.
So it is now a little less semi-private.
I appreciate your posts, in as much as it is helping me flesh out what is going on inside my own head.
So, Thank you!
NK

I'm Yaakov on the call. I'm still pretty shy.  :-[
hopefully that will change one day, both in real life and on the call.

Great stuff, Yitzy. So atthe end of each paragraph, it would be helpful to ask the 4th column question, and see what you get. Then see what you get when you put 'em all together.

Gevalt.

It is not a far leap for you to use this as an opportunity to say something like, "G-d, Hashem, Tatty, Father, Daddy, (whatever you like): I have pride and I am prone to be jealous of other people You are taking care of."

It's not a bad idea to say it to a select few people, either, I think.

I'll join you, for I have the same problem, and others, and am very happy to be able to admit it freely to people who understand what I mean and will not use it as a weapon against me. It is a precious privilege to admit the truth openly, and it makes me closer to Hashem when I do it.

I do not care what the self-esteem crowd says. The emess is not self-flagellation, not spitting in my face. It is what Hashem loves above lots of other things, and brings true peace.

Now, what do you and I want to do with this truth? That is the question that really matters, no?

We can read the 12 and 12 on step 5 and 6. Awesome reading.

http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/The%2012-Steps%20and%2012%20traditions.pdf

Does that work for you?  It should link you to the 12&12 on step 4, then keep reading through the rest till the end of #7. Nice....

Nuta K wrote on 04 Jan 2012 20:27:


& I get it delivered right to my email INBOX.

Nuta K wrote on 04 Jan 2012 21:04:



Nu, when can we meet?