Yearning,
Please don't go like that - you are not hated!!
Ppl may disagree, but don't take it the wrong way, PLEASE.
To recover and be free from this thing that has tried to ruin your life, you must have a positive outlook about yourself. PLEASE stay in touch with 7UP & the girls, don't quit, and consider getting into one of the anonymous 12-Step Programs. It is the best way to get to freedom. If you can do it, YOU WILL SAVE YOURSELF AND LIVE A LIFE FREE OF THE DESIRE TO LUST. You will also GROW CLOSER to Hashem, and find a more FULFILLING AND HAPPIER LIFE than you thought possible before.
Duvid Chaim is starting a new one in Feb.
For the rest of your life, YOU have the zechus to have helped, and yes it's a zchus to have been helped, by so many ppl here on this board. YOU have made a difference in the lives of so many. And you have come a LOOOOOOOOOOONG way from the bottom of the cliff, to this particular cliff hanger.
May HKB"H guide you to find inner peace and security, to live a better and HOLIER life, free to feel safe in Hashem's arms.
G-d Bless you, Yearning.
Ladies, in case she's not looking anymore, please email this to her for me.