OK. Its settled (sort of) ???
Where does being aware of whats causing it and dealing with the stress or other factors fit in? Is there a logical aspect to it or isnt there?

Ok. As far as I see it. Where it's coming from is irrelevant. It's just got to stop.
As far as the stress, I always found stress to be in the mind. Some people are under tremendous pressure, but they stay calm and don't get stressed. Others, get stressed over the smallest things. So if you turn off your mind and try to think as little as possible, I believe the stress factor will be significantly minimized.
There is one thing that is very important to think about. Pay attention to circumstances that put you in a more vulnerable position, and prepare for them in advance. If they can be avoided, by all means avoid them. If they can not, then prepare a plan of attack before you are in that situation and carry it out exactly as planned. For example. I just went away for 3 days. I knew that I would have access to the internet in the hotel, and I have been vulnerable to this in the past. I also had a dvd player in the rental car and a video store down the block. So if I didn't have a plan I was dead. So I borrowed a laptop computer from an aunt, and downloaded the K9 software onto it. I blocked everything from it except for GYE, and my bank and email. My wife set up the password, and I did not know it. I allowed myself enough "Kosher" things to keep me occupied, so as to avoid the temptation of the wrong things. Such a plan must be worked out in advance. That's the only thing to think about.

Last thing. You ask about room for logic. Yes. There is. When things are good, and running smooth. When your mood is upbeat, and you are rolling along. That is the time to work it out in your head. It's not dangerous then. I also find that posting advice for other people helps a lot because my YH is not affecting me when telling YOU what to do, so it is usually more sound logically.

Hope I was able to help.
Hatzlocha!!

OK Reb Yid and others (too many to list - and i appreciate that)
You've really forced an issue that has me backed into a corner
and I think its the lynchpin.
B4 you start yelling, "STOP THINKING!"
hear me out.
You got me to realize that Im not sure where Im holding. That is, part of me says "yes I am addicted/sick/whatever" and part of me says no. This is just a very strong YH, that I have lost control over. I admit that I need help, but the question is how much help. Do I have to go for the 12 steps? Do I have to admit that my brain cant function properly as is? Part of me wants to remain, or retain my logic, in control while admitting that I need help. Is that possible? Or is this all or nothing? Im not into porn, its not affecting my married life. Its a personal battle against bad thoughts, fantasiziing and hotzaas zera. Am I not capable of overcoming this with a litttle help from my GYE friends? Or must I join SA and treat this like an addiction including the whole nine yards? (is that how the phrase goes?)
THis is the crux of the issue! Thank you for forcing it out of me, but I see that this runs thru every post from "clarity please" to stress management to this thread. THere are many different people here, some have gone whole hog (sorry) and some seem to be in the same boat as me. I am afraid to let go of control. that is probably my problem here.

Ok. That's fair.
I will tell you. I did not do a 12 step program. I did not go to SA or do the phone conference. I am on the chart, and I have been involved in PM ing, as well as posting (obviously). I am not against anything. I decided to start slow, and see about my progress and so far, BA"H, so good. However, if I would still be struggling, I would definitely look to expand to other things because - it has to stop.

Actually, everything I was advising you to do as far as not thinking is concerned is davka without the 12 step or SA program. It is my understanding that those programs do provide plenty of things to think about, and a large part of it is rewiring your brain. I was suggesting turning off the brain, which may not even fit with the other systems. So when you say that you'd like to do it on your own if you can, I say "Join the club!!" But keep in mind that if you can, means - IF YOU CAN!!! If it aint working, then you can't!!

So try to do it on your own, and the only way I know how is to turn off the brain, and I wish you much Hatzlocha. If you find a better way to do it, don't bother letting me know, what with my brain shut off and everything.............

Hatzlocha!!!

OOOOOOOOOFF!!!!! as my israeli kids say
I was hoping you'd answer me with more specifics
I feel like the 12 steps have a clear and logocal mehalech
and the rest of us are left groping in the dark to find our own way.
come on someone... take us to our leader!

I'm missing something. Ok. I'm missing a lot of things. If you believe that the 12 steps are logical and without it you are groping in the dark, so join a 12 step program!! What have you got to lose? You are not sure if you are addicted or not. Fine. So if the 12 steps works, does it really matter if you were addicted? And if they don't, then try something else!!

I told you. I believe you are thinking too much. And your YH is laughing his head off. Stop thinking and do something. Anything.
JUST DO IT!! (Nike....)

well, not anything.

Approaching the end of this trip, I fly out tomrrow, G-d willing. So far we've made it clean. As with every trip i take, as i get closer to home the YH starts enticing me with images of coming home to my wife. Hey! It mutar! She's your wife. I fall for it every time, and that's when he gets me. so now we know to just shut that out! Dont let him in! Yes its mutar but its not healthy right now. Everything in its proper time.
Anyhow I just took a moment to read through this whole thread. and I wanted to thank each and every one of you for being there and helping get thru this trip. Whether you commented advised encouraged or just viewed, I really appreciate the support. Wishing you all hatzlacha in your battles, and if i can be there for any of you it would be my pleasure.

that's great, Gesher!
keep up your great work
appreciate that you have a family, a home, live in Eretz Yisrael and are clean and are on the winning team!

That's great to hear!!
I've been practicing what I preach about turning off the brain. What thread were you referring to? :-\ :o ???

Its true for all the threads. But I was reviewing this one because it is supposedly about my trek thru GYE land, and the other ones tended to be sidetracked, but definitely more exciting.
BTW theres a great thread that just started about people who dont need the 12 steps groups that addresses many of my issues. sorry the brain cant stop. not yet at least.

Please let me know which thread that is. I am very interested.

Open correspondence with guard on an important issue in break free.
How do these guys make the links and all that fancy stuff?

Home sweet home! just in time to celebrate level 4. Had a nice flight, with minimal challenges. But I became aware just how "addicted" my eyes are. Caught myself several times looking at ladies. Anyhow spent alot of time learning and reading Rabbi Arush's Garden of Riches. Making a plan to work on getting closer to HKBH and doing real tshuva. I am extremely grateful to Him that I am able to be back in His land, close to Him. I feel like He has given me another opportunity to get  closer to him, hopefully I wont spoil it. I am grateful that I am given another chance every day, and grateful that this whole stress and frustration has brought me to realize just how far away I strayed from Him. and of course grateful for GYE and the chevra.
PS its funny that every person I met on the trip, I thought to myself, I wonder if he's on the forum. Maybe I should introduce myself as geshertzarmeod and see his reaction. Then I chickened out.

you sound really good gesher, great to hear!

maybe all GYE-people should wear a lapel pin with a truck icon so we can know who is a fellow member of the secret society?