TehillimZugger and my other Chaverim,
It's my hope and prayer that all of you will be zoche to live life clean ever after!! No more falling back.
I once had a dream that I will share with you on this forum in a couple of days. It's been my lifeline and promis for a better future. Time is now to short, cause it's getting late and I need to have a good nights rest. But i will promiss to post it soon!

Laila tov Achim!!!!

Dear Chaverim,

The following is a dream I once had long before I got to know guard your eyes. I was still struggling very much at the time and had many falls. Still, HaShem has been mercifull with me and I feel this dream was a promise that one day I would free from this addcition and be cleansed from it. I post it here so some of you may find hope in it as well. Guard your eyes has been instrumental and I think essential in fulfulling this dream. 

The dream

I was entering a big hall. To my left side was a something which looked like a swimming pool. It was in the form of a big square. The swimming pool was not filled with water, but with molten lava. In this pool of lava was a demon-like figure, a shed. Almost a soon as I entered the hall, I was somehow pulled into this pool. I knew that if I didn’t do my best to get out I would eventually die. This shed started to fight me and wanted to drown me. He took hold of my head and pushed it under, I fought him wit hall I had, sometimes I managed to escape his grip, but he always succeded in grabbing me again and pushing me under.
Then, at a certain moment I managed to get to the side of the pool. I started to crawl out of the pool, but was unfortunately pulled back in again. This happened a couple of times. With every attempt to get out of the pool I managed to get a little bit further, until only my foot was still in the pool. This shed grabbed my foot to pull me back in, but this time I kicked him and finally freed myself from him.

I then started walking along the side of the pool. A big burden had fallen of my shoulders and I was glad I got out.  I walked further around the first corner and halfway along the pool I saw that the contents of the pool had changed from molten lava to crystal clear water. At that moment I fell into the water and got completely submerged. As I rose from the water I noticed that my clothing had changed from black to bright white. I saw more people coming up from the water in pure white garments and I saw them entering through a magnificent gate into a bright shining light. I was drawn to this light and went towards it like the rest of the people.  I then entered the gate into this magnificent light.

Then I woke up.   

Mordechai wrote on 24 Oct 2011 18:43:

I am happy to report you should now pay your $90 pledge to GYE.
90 DAYS, yessa!
Thank you for your support and sponsorship!

Obormottel,

great job! The $90 have been donated in your honor! Thank you for giving me this mitzva. Keep on trucking!!!

Today, is a challenge for me. i feel that big old monster knocking again on my door, trying to get back in my thoughts and my life. only 12 more days to go to one year clean.
I should not be to confident in my own power cause I have none.
HaShem please help me!!!! save me from my thoughts and keep me strong!!

must hold on..........

Let go of it just for today.  We're with you brother.

you-know-who doesn't want you to get to one year. don't let him spoil it for all our sakes!

Mord,

I find when it starts knocking on the door I start with tefillah as you've done and then I try to get busy w/something else. I try not to sit and think about how hard and I want etc.. Lets move on to other conversations.. How was your chulent this past week or sushi yesterday...  Or what are your steps of action when thoughts come your way..? I found, when I wallow in the idea that It's a tough day then it gets harder. Do what you need to admit it etc.. and move on..

What day is bean soaking day for chulent in Ireland?or do they not?

Good suggestions. Mord, I wish you the best to.

Mordechai wrote on 29 Oct 2011 20:49:


How dare I use the name Yosef Hatzadik when Mordechai is the one who is having the prophetic dreams?!?!?! : : :

Dear, dear chaverim,

Thank you all for your encouragement. Well, the day passed and I am still clean Baruch HaShem!!! Just posting it here on my thread lightened my burden a bit and also keeping busy helped. I am grateful and humbled to know that I am carried by such a great group of friends.
My resolve to reach a year and beyond has grown because if I will not do it for my sake, than I will certainly do it for yours!!!
Toda raba for being there and giving me all this chizuk.

יום אחד בשנה נחשב שנה
Mordechai wrote on 10 Nov 2011 21:13:

One day at a time chaver!

mordechai,
glad to hear you are doing well, keep up your gevaldig efforts
ashrecha
zs

One way Trucking ~>

ONE YEAR CLEAN!!!!!!! THANK YOU HASHEM
It feels so great... it feels like my birthday. When I started a year ago, I never thought I would succeed. I hoped for it, but expected myself to fall somewhere along the way. the daily chizuk on this site kept me going and all the warm support of everybody on this forum. thank you all. toda rabba!!