just to clarify, i spent about 20-30 minutes each time, not early the 2-3 hours of before. 

Ezra Tzadik, I suggest you hold two counts now. One for MB, which is well over 90 already, and one for the browsing... How's that?

Don't let it get you down. We addicts are unpredictable creatures and need a lot of help from the only one who can really help. Use the fall to LEARN FROM, and put up new and better fences. That's what He would want us to do. And when we do OURS, He does HIS.

Lots of love, and a great new year!

ok guys I need some help here.  I really almost fell today I cant beleive it.  I didnt think aobut htis stuff for so long and now that I "just took a peek" 3 tmes the fire is raging like new.  dont ever fall for that even 20 kinutes set me back 3 months and it is on the war front again. I didnt MB thank g-d but came closer than ever.  I am going to start a new count for wb surfing and MB like the gye guy tzaddick said. 

did you seriously think that after hitting 90 you can sit back forever in fun? Its an addiction and its a fight every day...by serving your 90 you took a step in the right direction, a step i can only wish for but its still a fight every day...i quit smoking a year ago...most days i dont think about a cig...a day like today, fasting, lots of work, i can think of nothing else....i imagine there will always be days like that...90 days aint the end of the road, bro, its the beginning...

oy, what to look forward to...

seriously, Ezra, I am now at day 37/38. I have been clean for extended periods of time in the past.
I know that things might get overall easier or at least most of the time it will seem that way,
but I will always be dealing with this.
I am happy that I'm clean, but I know that I have a lot of work to do and I will always have to be moving forward in order not to fall back,
Isn't that always the way it is for everyone in life no matter what their nisyonos?

Anyway, where's Dov?
I think it's about time he rolls in rambling about how even now after I don't even know how many days clean,
He still has no control and Hashem helps him along every step of the way...

Ezra, you are great. Don't let the Y"H convince you otherwise no matter what you do.

gmar chasima tova!

sturggle

hello everyone.
haven't been here in a long time.  after many ups and downs i am going at it again.  six days clean. I made it to 92 or 93 days then fell and started the roler coaster again.  its so dumb i am risking so much and it is so not worth it, but it is so hard to stop and I really like it.  i can lose so much if caught my family and because of the nature of my job, i would be in huge trouble even if it wasn't at work....

anyway just an update.  i will do my best. at 6 days,trying to make it to a week.

still going strong.  really almost fell alst week but thank G-d for my filter and other safety thngs.  I got really really close.  I am of course so happy that i didnt or actually couldnt do it.  10 days so far in my current journey to 90!!
have a great shabbos everyone. keep it up!!!

Hope your shabbos is great, too!

I'm sorry that you fell...but I'm glad that you're still with us, and still standing!

When the yetzer hora comes to you, push him away - tell him that he can't fool you, you already know that you can last for months without looking at anything, so on any given day, don't let him convince you that you HAVE to look at things...that's his favorite trick.

Hope you had a gr8 shabbos, your thread gives me much chizuk btw KEEP UP THE HOLY WORK

Ezra...hope you're doing well!

Keep us posted!

still going strong.  really really almost fell today.  thank gd for all the crazy filters i put up so i couldnt fall. i came really close.

thank for all thje support guys

The things we set up beforehand carry us through in times of weakness. It's like putting aside batteries and a flashlight in case of a blackout.

What can you do next time to get away before even slipping and trying?

Here I am again.  Most of you don’t remember me.  I made it to 90 last summer and then fell during aseres yemai tshuva.  Since then it has been up and down falling every 1-2 weeks and not really caring.  I decided to give it a shot again.  Only because I am scared of losing everything or anything H*shem has given me.  Like getting caught at work or worse by my wonderful wife.  I am kind of in a weird spot as I don’t really want to quit for my own reasons just fear.  Not the most noble of reasons, hopefully enough though.

I recognize that my biggest triggers are just straight boredom and when I am feeling down. What an escape from realty.  Although I must admit that afterwards I ALWAYS feel worse than before I did it.  It is a really short sided solution.  So here I am going for 90 days again.  Several years ago something very good happened to me in my professional life.  It happened on June 11th, so I am trying to hit 60 days clean by then as a sort of hodaah to H*shem for what he has given me despite my misbehavior.  In a weird way I appreciate that he has not allowed me to get caught or suffer in some other way for my escalating misbehavior over the last 10 or so years. 
Thanks all for listening and the best of luck to all of us.

still clean on this streak today is day 16. can't say its been easy. what helps is for me to "play the tape out." meaning I remind myself how disappointed, angry and ashamed i feel afterwords fro giving in.... hasn't been easy but I know it gets easier as days pass along.  its  amazing how slowly time seems to pass, its only been 16 days?????!  anyway i really want to be done with this part of my life of the last ten years....i cant say i hate doing it, I certainly regret it, but its an escape and its going to be hard to find something in my life to help me cope with difficult emotions......

thanks all for listening  :D

Ezra

Interestingly, although you claim that you're only doing it out of fear, this is clearly something you want to stop, because you can see yourself as a better person without it - and you know that it's something you can do!

Your idea of channeling you appreciation in this way is a nice one, as well - glad to hear that you're doing well!

What have you done to help your success, and prevent yourself from falling when temptation arises?