Hey, no big deal everyone, as long as you know thats fine.

shkoyach

I am very impressed by you, I tried breaking myself in high school (~14 years ago) but I couldn't do it and am still working on it now.  I wish that I had tried as hard as you when I was younger for my own sake and for my wife's sake.  Waiting just makes it harder.

keep up the good work.

To everyone here we should never look back and say 'if only I had started earlier'....

HAYOM LA'ASOSOH ( imagine Rabbi Avigdor Miller style emphasis !)

Today is as good a day to start than any other and certainly better than tomorrow  !

And never say i'll start tomorrow 'MirtzaShem' *

Shkoyach,

HY

* ( Im Yirtze Hashem, for those who need to know...)

P.S. I love you all

Very true.

But for me in all those years of countless masturbations and desperate, dry-mouthed porn-searching, I always took nechomah from "I'll start from today! Hey, even those Breslovers say that! It feels great to be clean from today! The past is irrelevant! Here I go!!"

...Plop.

Plop-plop-plop....oy...... 

If "starting fresh" is not accompanied by any real action that is different, then everything will stay the same. It's not 'a start', at all! Instead, it is just a cop-out to feel better. Blech. Useless. Poor me never got me anywhere, and it still doesn't. The emess is as Chaza"l say:  "kol mi (me!) sh'ein bo deyah, asur lerachem olov!" - especially if that one is me!

Real change hurts - or it is not real change. It is mechayev - otherwise it is just a show of willpower (more shtuss, for 'willpower' never worked before!) If I am the one making the neder, or rewarding myself, or punishing myself, then the fox is guarding the hen-house. It's goofy. May work for some - but if it doesn't work for me, I know that it's not that I need to try harder - it means that the entire thing is garbage! I obviously cannot be my own mechayev!

That is why rehab rarely happens alone. Joining with other people face to face and admitting it all to safe people is the only way for so many. It is really the only thing we have not done! The ikkar problem for us is that we hide!

The porn and zera levatola are actually tofeil - our common standby of hiding and lying and disconnection is ikkar!

                     

So, start today! Definitely start from today. But starting today does not happen in the attitude - that is just more land-of-make-believe. Like the porn is.

The only real starting is in taking new, meaningful actions. Not promises, not hopes, not talk. Different actions.

As I heard a wife of an addict say once, "If nothing really changes, then nothing will really change."

wow another beutiful post from dov that my thread is zoche to!

Thanks for the compliment? Any truth in it, though, is my G-d's gift, not my brains. That is for sure.

Sorry if I was out of place and overposted here. No intentional highjacking. It's just that I can't afford a thread of my very own, so I am noh vonodd all over this place...must be a tikkun for something.

Dov! that child that you train-walk him in your logo, he must be bar-mitzveh by now, and yet he still needs your help, his own man-power is useless, he can only step ahead with the help of others, thanks dov

dont worry dov!
ur always welcome to post great posts on my thread. that way i dont have to go looking for them in other places.
last night the yetzer harah tried getting me in the long run. last night i had a great oppurtunity to have a huge fall. but i didnt have any desire at all. the yetzer harah wants me to say that i am healed from addiction. but its all a lie. i am not done. i continue to ask hashem for help!
day 3

Gevaldigggggggggggggg

Hi HS, have a *spectaculousful Shabbos!

*short winter friday condensation of spectacular marvelous and wonderful

day 9
starting winter break now
tons of extra free time on my hads now. gotta keep myself busy

writing Megilas GYE in Yiddish (with illustrations) should do the trick 

hey HS howz goieen?

bh
only have 2 more amudim left in my megilah.

that is mamash all ive been doing all day
gets a person really exausted.

3 lines left!!!