there are so many powerful things being said. but applying it is so hard. i know that its going to take applying in order to recover forom this. but it is still going to be hard.


i dropped my nesivos shalom a week ago and i had someone teach me how to book bind. got the tape. got some fishing line to use as the thread. its amazing to see how something in such bad condition with a little bit of tape and a just a few holes can once again turn into a beutiful sefer. same thing with us, the only thing is that we are beutiful people from the moment we accept to work on ourselves (really work on ourselves)

have a great night.
HS

hi HS,
how are you doing?
beautiful thought about the bookbinding, thanks for sharing it

baruch hashem im great. very tired. tommorow and the day after is the school ski trip. im not going on it. so i have a 2 day vacation.
i keep having these urges, but with hashems help im still trucking. also my back is hurting. actually, it right next to my right shoulder below my neck to the side. its very tense and it hurts (i need a message) i guess that it meens i have a lot of anxioty again, but i dont know what its about. oy.
thank you hashem for these 2 days off. 2 days away from my class. thank you hashem.

At your age, it's quite common for guys to whack eachother on the back (hard enough to almost break the spine) whenever they want to say hi to one another.  You can request that they kindly just hit you on the head instead, as your back is in a lot of pain. 
Alternatively, your backache may be from sitting all day.  I had this once, and once I took up walking daily, the pain went away.

I like that mashul!

I think that what Eye is saying is that sometimes, the point isn't to escape - we have painful things in life, and we sometimes need to face them and deal with them - often by learning more about ourselves.

Back pain is no fun. I hope you feel better soon! I'd suggest relaxation breathing. That helped me. Also, as cliched as it sounds, working on your posture can help - holding your head straight, etc.

world wrote on 26 Jan 2011 04:18:


;D And I volunteer to be the first one to do so!  ;D




Ditto.

thanks friends. ben D...you volunteer to smack me on the head first????? thanks for the back advice, it could be a combination of everything??? silent and eye, its true and hard to do. im trying to see the unavaidible pain yet not suffer from it, but as i have said before, its hard.
good news, i showed the rav of my shul (that i daven at during the week) my boks that i have bound and he said i have the job for the shul (and his own personal seforim) thats the good part.
th other part is that today was the worst day spirtually in a long time, i was really not "into it" like i usually am. i kept forgetting brachos, i ate excessevely. i had a big slip with a lot of fantasizing, (im still clean though) and kavvanah and emotion during davening was not at its normal power. also torah learning wasnt energetic.
its a message from hashem that i cant do anything without him and that i need to be putting more effort into it tommorow and once hashem sees me trying he will take over.
good night.
btw end of day 32. hashem is bringing me close to my record day (38 days) but i have a power this time i didnt have before,......hashem!

HashemsSoldier wrote on 27 Jan 2011 04:23:


Yes, I would do so BeMsirus Nefesh to help cure your ailing back...

I read the rest of the post too...

Hang in there HS,

We're all here rooting and praying for you,

And Hashem is with you no matter what.

KOT!!!

EBD

We are rooting for you!
You are an inspiration!
Did you send Duvid Chaim your Core Values?
You are extremely focused.
A true soldier on the front lines.
Keep on trucking or Bobsledding, depending on the local weather conditions.

ben durdayah wrote on 27 Jan 2011 10:39:

what a tzaddik, going to such extreme measures to help out another fellow yid with back pain 
and thank you for the rest of you post ben D and world, it feels good just to see your responses and know that you are here for me.

world, i go to the other phone conference (at night) (which i was unfortunatly unable to make it to for the past week)

but thank you both for your words.
cant wait for shabbas. lately ive develouped a special love for shabbas.

Ah! Shabbos! The cure for all of our woes!

I'm so glad to hear that you've developed a special love for Shabbos.

I hope that's a relationship that keeps growing and growing.

I could go on for pages about this, but I've got to run...

Tomorrow is Erev Shabbos -gotta get moving!

KOT,

EBD

alright, hard to say this, but i just had a fall. my mom has a password on her computer and left the house without signing out. i walked past and noticed and next thing i know, i had a fall.
one of the hardest thing after a fall is getting back up and going. i know that on gye we we always say fall shmall.....but i was so excited about my success this time around. oy i have so much disapointment. im trying to say fall shmall but im having a difficult time.

i dont know what more to say.

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3284.msg93476#msg93476

heilige tiyere HS, i am sure that the RBSO is kvelling with nachas over how much you work for Him, trying to keep out of trouble and stay attached to Him. He knows how far you've come and how hard it has been and how hard it is.

You are an exemplary soldier and you teach us all what perseverance and dedication are.

You are winning by not staying down and out.
keep up your great work

and remember, Shabbos is coming. Adam harishon did what he did on friday and when shabbos came he said Mizmor shir leyom hashabbos, his teshuvah was accepted and he stayed in Gan Eden until motzai shabbos. Seforim say shabbos is roshei taivos Shabbos Bo Tashuv, shabbos is a time of being, not becoming. Ke'ilu kol melachtecha asuya, the Nesivos Shalom writes that this refers to ruchniyos as well.

chazak ve'amatz veta'aseh chayil!

Zikkaroin L'maaseh Beraishis -Every Shabbos you can start from Beraishis.

Techilla L'Mikraei Kodesh - a good time to say: This is the first day of the rest of my life, from now on I'll try with Hashem's help to make it Kodesh.

Zecher L'ytzias Mitrayim - When we got out of the 49th Sha'ar HaTumah by the skin of our teeth.

These are all inherent in the power of each and every Shabbos.

What was was, from here on in we're starting a new count, one day at a time!

Hang in there, we're rooting for you,

Elazar ben Durdayah

i did see these post before shabbas and i just didnt have time to reply. but know that they really helped.

recently i just stopped taking pills that the doctor has had me on for years and years. we jsut stopped it and i feel like im having withdrawl symptoms, super duper tired (extreme fatigue) not normal appetite. etc etc. its been a few days so its gettingbetter. but it makes yiddishkeit hard becasue i just have no energy for anything. nevertheless im still trucking along in my 18 wheeler.

gut vuch