ok 20 min are up. what have i been doing? ive been lusting after kedusha. listening to some yosef karduner.im ein ani li, mi li??? think about it. this thought has to be on the top of every addicts head. if im not willing to help myself, why should hashem???????
im lo achshav eimasai, its ok to fall, ill just start my count again tommorow, no big deal.....NO NO NO NO it is a big deal. if not now, when. the answer to that question is not tommorow or in 2 day. if not now, NEVER.
rabbosai, the yetzer harah has been getting me in many ways to be sad. ive been loseing my point of focus. i lost my geshmak for yiddishkeit like i used to have. (i didnt lose it. it was just dulled out)
my life starts today!! from now on, full speed ahead! even though ive been learnign much torah and been feeling good about it, i need to turn those feelings of accomplishment into feelings of geshmak for torah.
AGAIN! I CANT DO THIS BY MYSELF. ITS ALL UP TO HASHEM, I KNOW WHAT HASHEM WANT ME TO DO, THE ONLY THING IS THAT I CANT DO IT WITHOUT HIS HELP. I JUST SAW IN BARDS (i think) THREAD, VECHOF ES YITZREINU LEHISHABED LACH, DONT GIVE THE YETZER UNDER MY CONTROL, I KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF IT DOES, I WANT HASHEM TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY YETZER. CUS I AS A HUMAN CANT CONTROL MY YETZER, ITS ALL UP TO HASHEM HE CAN CONTROL MY YETZER.
today is day 4. again. i now accept bards as my rebbi, everyone should read his thread
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/smile.png)
thats what put me in this mood. look at my signature, lets all be like alchohal, dont freeze in the freezer.
the nesivos shalom basically says the fundamental idea for us addicts. we cant do it by ourselves, this is a taavah which is above nature. but if we do something down here, (an issrausa detatei) then hashem sends us presents from above and helps us to the rest (israusa dele"eila) but (to bad laag... doesnt see this) the israusa deleila ONLY COMES AFTER WE PUT IN THE ISRAUSA DETATA!!!!! so robosai, nu nu, lets go.