Kw

You sound like u can use a margarita

I won't make choizik

U have some good points

I wish rage was here

To commiserate


Kot

Cmon key west

Key bo yismach libainu

Key bisham kodhashacha batachnu

Kot

B

keywest wrote on 18 Nov 2010 17:48:


keywest wrote on 18 Nov 2010 17:48:


keywest wrote on 18 Nov 2010 17:48:


keywest wrote on 16 Nov 2010 19:07:


keywest wrote on 18 Nov 2010 17:48:


keywest wrote on 11 Nov 2010 20:18:

uaj

read his substance

he is not happy

but he has a point

keep on truckin any way

keywest wrote on 18 Nov 2010 17:48:
Bingo.

Briut

What ernest Hemingway #2

Is trying to teach us

Is that we are a bunch of babaies

That need the "tzuumyz" of chizzuk or the "tzummy" of #*?!

serious question; is there anyone who does not need any type of tzummy at all?

(besides for G-d )

keywest wrote on 18 Nov 2010 17:48:


An addict, in the purest sense of the word, means:  You cannot STOP.  Faced with the temptation, you're going to give in.  Though you may wrestle with it and hold it back for a day or a week or a month, it's always on your mind AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL YOU FALL AGAIN.  You act out, even though you know, intellectualy, that you shouldn't and EVEN THOUGH YOU FEEL THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO.

You don't have to be living in the gutter to be an addict, and you don't have to be caught up with adultery and pr*stitutes.  All you need is a little p*rn, and/or a little m*sturbation, every so often (you can even be an addict if all you look at is swimsuit magazines and circulars for women's apparel).  AND YOU CAN'T STOP IT!

That's an addict.

BTW, if a person can't stop, it's also ONLY A MATTER OF TIME before th situation deteriorates.  The addict in the gutter, how do you think he got there?  Did he just one day decide he'd like to leave his wife and children and home and job and sleep under the stars?  No.  It started those 5 or 10 or 15 years earlier, when he found he couldn't live without his swimsuit magazine.  And, chaval [what a pity!] he didn't think of himself as an addict THEN, and get the help he needed, and spare himself tons suffering.

--Eye.


 

Don't bring out the margaritas or the parrots.
But the old man is smiling. 0 mile +5
keywest

Like it. Lots.

Keywest, How are you doing?

I guess I ahve know idea how I am
I am avoiding lust as much as possible.
I have the urge.I call a freind and I verbalize my weakness
Its tuff times in key west.

That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward.    Hemingway, Ernest

keywest wrote on 30 Nov 2010 17:56:


sounds pretty good to me if
a. you are avoiding lust, and
b. you can call a friend and verbalize it

those are things many here would wish for, imho

i wish you strength in the tuff times, and that you know where to turn to to find the strength you need and that the tuff times give way to margarita times

Hi Rage

I'm fairly new to GYE, but am already a big fan...  want give ya a big shout out

Also - although I didn't read every one of your posts in this thread - the one where you made a distinction between the "pure lust addicts" and the OCD-people really caught my attention.

I never acted out live or pursued online relationships, all my acting out has been completely personal (perhaps with the one exception of asking my wife to do some things that she wasn't 100% cool with - but frankly fairly minor stuff in the overall spectrum... err I digress..) And I FOR SURE have many of the OCD compulsive symptoms that you speak of.

While I've had the problem for over 20 years - I'm fairly new to this angle of it, so I certainly don't profess to have a formed opinion on it. But I have been getting some help from Dov in getting a perspective on my problem (on my WOH thread) ... and so far I'm thinking that I am primarily a LUST ADDICT (with OCD baggage). To put it a different way.... perhaps at least in some cases the root of lust addiction and the root of OCD may (again sometimes stem from the same thing.

If you define the root-cause of lust addiction as ultimately due to not really (i.e. subconsiously) believing that Hashem will take care of us (relationships, love, enjoyment in this world, etc) and/or feeling that the world is basically against us - and due to that feeling -> taking things into your own hands (pardon the pun) and self-medicating (whether your 'fix' is booze, drugs, p & m, food, video games, just wasting time, or whatever else fills the gap) --- then it can be argued that OCD may (in some cases) be another response to that inner rift.

In my case anyways, I believe that I started getting mild OCD symptoms around the same time that I would say a lust-addiction started, and it was a time in my life (just before bar-mitzva) where I have very painful emotional memories from. I'm not getting on the couch here or anything - just saying that perhaps (at least in some cases) the root treatment for OCD and Lust Addiction is the same thing - which is to re-accept Hashem as ultimately running the show and doing what's best for us. I certainly haven't done this (i.e. re-accept Hashem) yet - and I am realizing that it will take a ton of work to do so

I hope that doesn't sound preachy - and I'm just sharing my thoughts. You're much much farther along than I am... I haven't even started 12-steps, and am far from dispensing advice! But your OCD vs Lust-Addiction thoughts really caught my attention, and I wanted to chime in a bit.


Anyways, hatzlacha to you bro

had to google that one - lol

Mister... my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you're askin' for, they pay it.

David/Rage wrote on 29 Nov 2010 17:10:
An interesting way of looking at the GYE universe. Lemme think about it. But let me add one small thing while I'm thinking -- not everyone that is straight is a sex addict .

And now I've thought about it... there might be yet another category. Guys who might not have an addiction they "can't" stop but rather a long-term habituation that makes it difficult for them to WANT to stop. And a place like this can help break the cycle, even without the hard-core tools for the hard-core addicts who might think they can "stop anytime they want" but in reality... can't.

Just a thought.