let me jump right into it
I am an alumnus of GUE.I went 90 days many times.The monster came back.

I am going on the wall of honor again(someone please sign me up).
My story:married to my love,great family,FFB,live in the suburbs,and i want to do another 90
chevra: I dont want chizzuk I want mussar.
please keep checking on me I will be open and honest.
I have not much to say and less to offer.I am ashamed of myself.I should have known better.
Here we go again starting from the bottom keywest zero mile front street .
If I fall again I will be swimming with the sharks somewhere near Cuba.

Hemingway was Right

About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.

keywest

keywest wrote on 11 Nov 2010 20:18:


As an aluminus, you should know that you are requesting the impossible!

The friendly guys of GuardYourEyes are incapable of giving mussar without chizuk!

At most, you can request that we not shy away from mussar; that the mussar should not be watered down.



...and that was your first mussar lesson!  ;D

What people call mussar is, of course, FAR from what the Torah says it is. It's not supposed to be a chance for me to throw all MY projections about what's right and wrong onto YOU, generally without even having all the facts or knowing how you'll hear it.

So I have no interest in giving any of this so-called "mussar."

What I can say is that I know Key West [the real AND the parable ones] quite well. Spent time down there. (About the real one, you DEFINITELY don't want to know.) And it's always warm and sunny down there -- until the hurricane hits. So, it sounds like you went through some nice warm, sunny, fuzzy, uplifting '90s' down there. And now you're surprised that it's hurricane season? Wha?? So surprised that you gave away your storm covers?

Tell us more about how such shtuss could have gotten into your head -- that some victories meant the issue was gone forever. I promise, I'll try not to laugh (although I might cry -- for you and for the chance that I might be the next to fall for that (t)rap -- any of us here could!).

Doctor, very well said!

You don't want chizuk you want mussar?

Why?

Because if we give you mussar it will relieve some of your guilt and you wont feel so bad about falling?

Why do you think giving you mussar is going to help you?

Did it work in the past? (I'll answer that for you...not for the long term).

So maybe you need to rethink your battle plan?

Come up with one that will work?

One that has been field tested, addict approved?

Maybe it should be based on the 12 steps?

Or on some proven recovery method?

Or maybe you really arent ready to take that plunge yet?

Me3 was that mussar or chizzuk?

Zero mile !! Gaounus

I love it

I'm lovin ya already

Ok here is mussar

If you consider yourself a zero.

You will act like a zero

Zero times zero is still zero

90 times zero is also zero

Yes feel the shiflus

But only as a spring board to gadlus not as a destination

Keep on truckin

B

Briut wrote on 11 Nov 2010 20:38:


yes.It"s not always dancing on duval.
I need mussar on day zero

as hemingway said
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.

keywest

11/11/10=0

keywest wrote on 11 Nov 2010 21:20:

I don't believe there's any mussar you 'need' that you don't already have inside. So... if you were a very very smart and wise old man speaking to (yourself) about your situation, what would you say? Write it down. In fact, please post it for us all to see.

Somewhere inside you have the answer; please share it with us as best you can. Maybe we can comment from there, if you like.

Thanks.

And thanks for the literary remez that remind me about the Importance of Being E[a]rnest.

If you're asking for mussar, you probably need some chizzuk.

--Eye.

keywest wrote on 11 Nov 2010 20:18:


The poor guy wants mussar and no one wants to give him any.  Well, if you really want some mussar I would go to www.btutorah.org and listen to Shiur 29 the 11\06 shuir.  (If you really want mussar after that I would go back and listen to all of them from the beginning).  If you want my take on the message feel free to contact me afterwards.

One thing I will say is that you may want to come off the "90 day" part.  It seems from your post that you do "90 days" and then you feel confident and slacken off.  How about just focus on one day at a time (again and again).  That way you'll come to 90, 180, 270 etc rather than sporadic 90s.

Hatzlocha.

11/12/10= day 0+1
thanks you for the chizzuk and mussar
I will remain accountable to th group here
As Hemingway said
Man is not made for defeat
keywest

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 11 Nov 2010 20:29:


I appreciate your opinion and I respect it as yours.
I think the reason the group can't give it is because the group is trained not to take it either.
It runs as deep as the core of the addiction.The need for constant acceptance and affection.

as Hemingway said
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
PS
this is  kefirra but it has intellectual value.
keywest 0+1

Key West:  I'm glad to see you on the post.  I'm not a GUE alumni, but I've definitely been a member of the 90 day club, the 180 day club, the 270 day club the 337 day club and the 413 day club earlier this year.  Right now I'm in the 4 day club.  I'm on the same island as you, brother!  I don't feel in any greater position than you to give chizuk or mussar than you do at the moment.  In fact, I'm only sure of one thing today, and that there's no problem in my life that a slip today won't make worse. 

At the end of the road, I don't want to be back in the 413 club or the 5,678 day club; it literaly makes my stomach churn to think about waiting 409 days until I'll let myself be happy about and feel good again - I'm not going to play that game anymore.  What my slip has taught me is that I really want to be in the 2-day (today club).  To be present one-day-at-a-time and to learn to accept life where I am.  I'm convinced that there's some chevre around that can teach me how to do that.  Who knows, you might be one of them!

0+2
A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
Ernest Hemingway