BeStrong88 wrote on 25 Aug 2009 21:11:


I have some serious cramming to do within the next week. When I study, I am alone. I don't like being alone. Right now, I don't think I like myself all that much, so it's not easy for me and my mind wanders all over and every second I am going back and forth between fighting away the Y"H for different thins and trying to let HKB"H step in for me and help me out. Both can be difficult...

I think I even need to cut back on this forum a little, and it is such a lifeline for me! R' B, maybe you can write me some yiddeshe good luck song and it will take me until I finish my tests to figure out what you mean!!

I am 9 days clean, B"H, feeling pretty good right now and heading into a day with a lot to accomplish, feeling a little bit of pressure..., so please don't let me go through this alone!

b'ahava,

Struggle

Struggle, was that you just talking about sleep? Hehe...  I think I was sent down to this world with the sole mission of making sure you don't get any.  :D

2B

Bring it on Tomim! I heard a wise man once say that if I have a challenge in this world it means that I also have the ability to overcome it!  ;D

struggle wrote on 25 Aug 2009 22:31:

Heiliga Struggle,

I guess the Y"H is also trying to cram and is losing sleep, since all he could do is get you on a Mikreh Layla 

I think you have him on the run ;D

BS"D 9 days and counting.......... 10 is a big number!

Love,

Pintele Yid

Yeah, looks like not sleeping is the latest technique in avoiding mikreh layla.  :D

2B

Tomim2B wrote on 26 Aug 2009 20:40:


Gevaldika Vort! :D

If only we can get the Y"H to sleep more often :
Pintele Yid

good morning to the oylam,

and 10 it is...

Bardichev, how's that for a minyan?!

feeling pretty good right now, actually. i want to post more about how im doing/feeling and diff things that are going, but im going to be keeping it short for now. mechuvan lamatara...study! study! study! and, of course, stay clean! (and somewhat sane...)

STRUGGLE YOU WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS PLACE

IT IS LIKE THE "KOSEL"

KOTEL KOISEIL KOSEL DER HEILIGER VANT

ALL YIDDEN HERE SHED THEIR EXTERIOR TRAPPINGS

AND THE NESHAMOS CONNECT

NOW HEILIGE (HOLY) STRUGGLE

DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!
b

Heiliga Struggle,

Rav Wolfson talks about the number 11 being a number that is the source for the Samach Mem. That is why the Ketores had 11 ingredients to be mevatel the Samach Mem.

Just hang on for today and hopefully tommorow you will have a different attitude. Maybe you should repeat Parshas Ketores today as a Segula to bust the Samach Mem.

Pintele Yid

Bardichev, I love ur profile pic

I have that one saved on my computer, This site displays so much ahavas yisroel that picture is magnified 100 times!

2 weeks...
14 days...
i dont know how many hours, minutes or seconds...

just saying hi for now.
im feeling ok.
not too great.
not too bad.
still clean.
still studying.

b'ahava,
struggle

Keeping clean is the best possible "studying" you could be doing for the real "test" 

STRUGLLE
G E VA L D  I G G G G G G G G G  :  :  :

bard & guard,
thanks for the chizuk.

i am 17 days clean. tomorrow is chai.
i feel down, empty and sad.
i was studying so hard and concentrating on exams, now i'm not sure what next. i was thinking of majorly studying this forum and catching up on all of the threads and posts ive been neglecting. then laziness kicks in and i dont want to be doing anything... shverer matzav.
i also got my left hand bandaged up today. not broken, just in pain. imagine typing with one hand. sorry guys, even for gye, i dont know how easy that will be for me.

back to my feelings...,
so, i think im just ranting and self pity is just as bad as anything else, but im feeling alone... and im even sitting across from one of my friends!! i hate feeling this way! i want to connect to people, but i also want everyone to leave me alone. forget about acting out, this is practically the normal state of my life... and it scares me, cause i dont want to fall no more no more no more no more, but where will these stupid feelings take me? and big secret... i took a test in psych today and anyone who has some experience knows that we genius psych students start analyzing ourselves up the wazoo. you want to know what my relationship with my mother was as a baby that led me to have such issues with other people? care to know according to which theory that is?

ok, i know who holds the cards, i know who's in charge. may He help me get on to tom, it is a new day.

feeling like im a piece of @#%# and somehow still holding love for you guys and finding a way to express myself here,

struggle

Struggle my friend.

You are not a peice of *&%$.
You are a warrior.
You are someone who struggles with something very intense while none of your friends have any dea.
And you have persevered.
You are winning one battle after the next.
I know this for a fact.
I know your battles.
If youre a peice of garbage,then what does that make me??

If i might humbly suggest taking on a project of some sort.
You could write a story about a guy like who with similiar struggles,his insights,and his victories.

chat with you soon tzaddikle-uri